Honesty & Accountability

It's time for everyone's favorite new game show Honesty & Accountability! And here is your host - and the only contestant - Jericho!


*Host Jericho*
Howdy, folks! Jericho here and welcome to Honesty & Accountability! On yesterday's show, our contestant Jericho was shocked and quite angered that he had put on eight pounds in seven days.


Audience Gasp!

*Host Jericho*
Oooooh! Yeah. He wasn't impressed with himself and frankly neither were our judges. And let's meet our judges! On our panel we have Mr. Jericho!

*Mr. Jericho*
Hi everybody! You all look just fabulous!

*Host Jericho*
Why thank you! Next on our panel we have Dr. Jericho.


Dr. Jericho nods sagely at the camera.

*Host Jericho*
Last but certainly not least, we have Steven Seagal.

*Steven Seagal*
The heart of a warrior is strength in beauty!

*Host Jericho*
Couldn't have said it better myself! Next, let's bring out our contestant. He's seriously over weight, unemployed, recently divorced and having a serious identity crisis - obviously! Here's Jericho!

*Contestant Jericho*
It's good to be back!

*Host Jericho*
So eight pounds in a week - that's a bit of a drag, huh?

*Contestant Jericho*
Yeah. My body does this now and then. I have a good weigh in, maybe two. Then, even though I'm still dieting and for no good reason - Bam! I put on a bunch of weight!

*Host Jericho*
Ouch! That hurts. But, we think we have a solution. Judges?

*Steven Seagal*
Your Chi is out of balance.

*Dr. Jericho*
Edema.

*Host Jericho*
Thank you Steven, but we discussed this before the show! The Doctor is correct - it's your edema. How was your edema last week?

*Contestant Jericho*
My feet looked great! My ankles were down quite a lot.

*Host Jericho*
And now?

*Contestant Jericho*
My right foot is puffy again. The skin on my ankles is itching - probably means they are up again.

*Host Jericho*
Correct!

*Steven Seagal*
Find strength in adversity!

*Mr. Jericho*
And stop wearing those horrid black New Balance! You would look fabulous in a Tony Lama or a Jimmy Choo!

*Host Jericho*
As we all know, "a pint is a pound the world around."

*Contestant Jericho*
I probably have a pint of fluid just on my right foot!

*Host Jericho*
Likely! How was your activity level last week?

*Contestant Jericho*
Started off good. Monday I walked around the mall for an hour. Tuesday I got out for lunch with a friend, then went grocery shopping. Wednesday I didn't do much, just a little walking at the mall then dinner at a friend's. Thursday I sat on my ass, same for Friday. Then ... oh dear! Saturday I had a job interview, so I treated myself to a big meal from McDonald's and then did nothing. Sunday I pretty much laid around, thinking about donuts.

*Host Jericho*
Sounds like the activity level dropped off quite a bit there!

*Contestant Jericho*
Wow. Sure did.

*Steven Seagal*
If you sit by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float past!

*Host Jericho*
Anyway ... Jericho! Here is today's bonus round question. Your health, sex life and overall happiness are riding on your answer. Ready?

*Contestant Jericho*
I'm ready!

*Host Jericho*
What is your activity plan for this week?

*Contestant Jericho*
Get out and be as active as possible?

*Host Jericho*
CORRECT!!! That's all the time we have. Tune in next week to continue to follow Jericho's progress right here on Honesty & Accountability!

*Steven Seagal*
And don't forget to watch me on Steven Seagal: Lawman, only on A&E!

+8 in one week.

I hate my body. Hate everything about it.

Doing Something Right ...

I'm not exactly sure WHAT I'm doing right, but it's real right!

Check it out ... 455! Woot! Forty five pounds down since January. I'm feeling good about that. I'm sure it could be more - but it could also be a Hell of a lot less! So, I've decided there is no reason to beat myself up and I'll just accept the 45 down.

I've been watching my diet. Although, I had a couple of cheats this weekend. No matter - just relaxing that "will power muscle" - I'm back to flexing it now.

My feet and ankles look better! I think a good portion of the weight I'm losing is fluid, the edema is coming off. My right foot, which two months ago looked like a caucasian football with toes, now looks nearly like a normal foot. The edema around my ankles is way down. I couldn't be happier!

I think I have finally hit a combination of diet, exercise, attitude and meds that works. It's alchemy and voodoo - but it's working!

I'm gonna get out of the house today ... just go walk around the mall or something. I'm a bit restless. (I think that's a good thing!) Anything to keep this going!

Exercising my Demons

Yeah, I know, long time. I've been good and bad about my diet. But, my meds were changed and it hurt me. My meds are back in order and I'm back on the wagon - since a week ago Monday. I didn't weigh myself Monday, I plan to weigh myself this coming Monday.

So, I have been taking the article I referred to a couple of posts back to heart. And it's gotten me thinking. We all make choices and changes in our lives, some good and some bad. But, I think sometimes we make changes and never see that we changed.

I've been heavy all of my life. But, when I was a kid - I walked everywhere. Seriously, everywhere. Back and forth to grade school - and it wasn't just down the block, either. Long walks to and from the bus and my job. We moved in high school, but my walk to school wasn't short and if I wanted to go anywhere else, it was a good walk to the bus stop - or an even longer walk to my destination. I can remember countless two hour walks to 7-11 for a soda and video games - there were at least five 7-11 within "walking distance" of my house.

My BFF (jeez!) Max can attest to these walks. He may have been a bigger walker than I was. Walks to 7-11 at all hours. Walks to and around the park and back at 3 AM just to have something to do. Drive to the mall and walk that for hours just looking at stuff, again, just to have something to do.

I did indeed once sit down and bounce a quarter off my calf - they were huge! I had trouble with pants, not around my waist, but getting them over my calves! (okay, the waist, too. Duh!)

But I was still fat. You see, and it's only now that I see this, I'd walk to 7-11, two hours round trip and I might have burned off 500 calories. But, I'd buy a huge full power soda, candy and/or nachos. There went any of the losses I might have made. If someone had changed my soda to diet - well, I would have likely gotten cancer from the huge amounts of artificial sweeteners I was in-taking, but I wouldn't have put on the weight I gained. Walking around the mall was great, but I had a cookie or two ... or six ... at Mrs. Fields and cheese fries or half a pizza down in the food court. These were the days I could polish an 18 inch deep dish pizza by myself and ask what's for dessert? Three or four slices was a snack! These days, four slices of pizza puts me in a carb coma!

Had I been looking out for my diet at the time, with the amount of activity in my life, maybe I wouldn't have put on all the weight. We were still poor enough that pasta and potatoes were big staples, but maybe I could have slowed the process.

Speaking of slowing processes, we come to the next phase. I moved to Seattle. When I first moved here, I kept my same pass times. I didn't have a car, so I walked to the bus, walked around malls, walked to the store, etc. I also kept up with the bad eating, and once I had cash in hand, it got worse. The weight added up.

When Steph moved in, we bought a car. So, I didn't walk nearly as much. Steph was also an easily accessible source of entertainment (get your mind out of the gutter!) - so, instead of walking around the mall just for something to do, we would go out to eat and then to a movie. We got concerned about our weight and had gym memberships for years - seldom used. As my job became more stressful, I found more and more reasons to lose myself in video games and TV. Not much movement here.

Tuesday, I was bored and restless. I went to the bank, then just walked around a grocery store. Nothing outlandish, just wasn't at home on the couch or parked in front of the computer. I also wasn't pouring snacks into my face either - I eat when I'm bored ... lonely, stressed, horny, satisfied ... you get the picture. Today, again with the restlessness. Maybe this is a good sign - a return of energy. The weather has been good for me, too. Cloudy, cool, a little rainy - my Seattle is back in swing!

Today I did something I haven't done in nearly a decade. University Avenue, called "The Ave," in the University District, is filled with shops and restaurants catering to the students on the University of Washington campus. I used to go explore The Ave once or twice a week. There was more for me to do there back then, I went regularly, walked for hours. And, yeah, I ate crap and drank crap - then ... today was different. I took the bus, something I haven't done since I lost my job. The most interesting area on The Ave is about five or six blocks long - covered in tiny shops and some big shops and restaurants - I walked up and down, looking in all the windows. I stopped into two real-life record stores. I thought those were extinct! I had a Diet Coke Zero. All told, I must have walked for two hours. Nothing stressful, just out DOING.

Now, I'm not happy that I spent five bucks to ride the bus there and back (I'm sure parking would have been more) so maybe I need to find something closer. But, I am happy to have been out, just out, moving. Instead of sitting on the couch watching my Red Dwarf DVDs for the 438th time! Eating low carb snacks and thinking, well, I could be shoving chocolate and cake into my face - this is better than that, right? I knew what I did today was better.

Besides, the new crop of college girls were CUTE! :)

Body Blow! Body Blow! K.O.!!!

I'm great at beating myself up.

Sometimes I think a lot of the reason I am as large as I am is that I really don't like myself very much. Then, I think - why don't I like myself? After I fail to think of a decent reason, I then think that maybe my original thought is flawed.

But, for a guy that does not not like himself - I sure do a lot of damage to myself!

After my first encounter with the Wii, my tendinitis flared up. My ankles hurt for two weeks. I hobbled around my apartment for the entire time. I had to cancel various social events. Plus, I couldn't drive to go shopping, so I ended up ordering a lot of food - high carbs and salt! On top of that, I really didn't move for two weeks, so the edema on my legs got pretty fierce. Painfully so - my toes simply ached. First time my edema had gotten that bad. I felt terrible but not a damn thing I could do about it - so, I ate whatever I could get delivered and watched myself bloat up!

The last week or so has been a lot better. I can actually move and indeed I have moved whenever possible. I've even put in time on the treadmill and had my second work-out with the $300 dollars worth of Wii that I bought! The edema is down. I feel better.

However, there is always something to counter that, isn't there? Saturday I went out with friends. We went to see an outdoor movie. I knew I was setting myself up for failure, but my desire for social interaction out-weighed my good sense.

First, the movie was "Grease" - I like musicals but Grease has never done anything for me. I was going to hang with my friends, the movie could have been anything. Seattle Center is a great place - but parking is at a premium, it is Downtown after all. So, we parked and walked quite a ways. Nearly to where they were showing the movie, I just couldn't go anymore. Not only was it up hill (a very tiny hill!) but I really haven't moved that much in the last month. I had to stop my friends so I could breathe for a second. I was drenched in sweat and they were perfectly non-sweaty. I need fatter friends!

We get to where they are showing the movie. It's a large lawn. My friends spread out a couple of blankets and lay down. This was the moment I was dreading. I knew it was coming but it was worse than I thought. The lawn sloped downward. I knew I'd have trouble gracefully getting down, but with the slope I'm having visions of losing my footing, rolling over my friends, rolling all the way to the bottom of the slope, killing children, old ladies and homeless people on the way down!

So, I stood there. We got there about six. About seven, my back was hurting enough that I went ahead and lay down - but it wasn't graceful. No one died, but I pulled something in my knee on the way down. No shock - the human knee is not intended for that much pressure in that position! For the next hour I tried to get comfy and failed. I was worried about my knee and worse - I had to pee!

I got up. That's an understatement ... I willed myself upward and with herculean effort, I arose - and nope, it was not at all graceful. I looked like a complete idiot and felt worse. I went off to pee and then walked back toward where my friends were. The movie was about to start. There were a couple of benches WAAAAY off to the side. I parked my ass. I got a text from one of my friends asking if I was coming back. I explained about my knee - I wasn't in any pain, but I wasn't going to try another stunt like that.

So, that's where I sat - metal bench, couldn't quite see the movie, getting eaten by bugs - for two hours. The hike back to the car when the movie was done was something of a relief. I really like the people I was with and I was totally embarrassed. They want to go back to three more of these events. I told them; I have a TV and I have a couch. They are more than welcome to come over. We'll see.

It was such a simple thing: lay on the lawn. But, I'm so fat I can't even lay down! Oy! It's not like it was something athletic - it was laying down! How freekin' silly my life has become. How sad.

Anyway, the good news is that indeed I have been mostly good on my diet the past week. My weight above shows that. Not the lowest I've been this year, but not bad for a guy that didn't move for a month. Right now I need to go to the grocery store. Not exactly the 20 Minute Workout - but it's up walking around, making sure I have no reason to order large pizzas the rest of the week.

What the Fat??

Apparently, exercise will not make you thin.

It's enough to make me want to give up!

Yo-Yo much?

Okay, I just don't get it.

I put on five pounds. I've been a good boy this week for the most part. I certainly haven't been a bad enough boy to earn five pounds!

I'm not going to let this discourage me. I've come a long way and I have a long way to go and this is merely a speed bump.

I'm really angry. I don't have anything else to say.

-9 in 7 days!

Would you call this a Yo-Yo Diet yet?

Losing more than a pound a day can't be good for me. But, I don't know what, if anything, I'm doing wrong. It seems like I'm constantly eating something. It's not like I'm exercising to death - I laid around all week with my feet up due to my ankle. Looks like I'll have more of that this week as my left ankle is now on the fritz.

But, none the less, here I am.

My stomach is grumbling. I should go find breakfast. This is all so weird.

Ah, Tendinitis!

Laura said...

You prolly already know this, but just in case- don't get the wii fit balance board thingie- it can only handle 250lbs. What a gyp, huh? "Get fit, but only if you're not TOOO fat."

Yeah, I looked into the Wii Fit because my friends have it and it comes with lots of cool games and neat features.

Nintendo claims that the board can handle up to a 600 pound person. However, it will only give weight up to 330 pounds. This is up from the original specs. They added 30 pounds before releasing it to the American market.

There is talk that the new Wii Fit Plus will include a balance board that can go higher. Talk is cheap. The balance board is being used for lots of games, so, hopefully, Nintendo will get over themselves and realize that fat people spend money, too. Maybe we should send Nintendo copies of Wall-E so that they can prepare for the future!

As for me, one of the purchases I made was a program called EA Sports Active. This is a fitness program. It can use the balance board, but it's not required. It has a lot of the same features as Wii Fit, but with a more "gym quality" feel to it. Whereas Wii Fit feels like a game aimed at kids - because it is. It's aimed at kids and families, trying to make exercise easy and fun.

Even the "Active" is a victim of this "mental weight limit" - the highest weight I can enter in a profile is 300 pounds. My treadmill only lets me enter 400. Someday these limits won't matter to me .........

My first work out really did bother my knees - too much running and jumping. And, I started hobbling around Tuesday as my right ankle started hurting (heavy grocery bags probably didn't help) and then kicked into full tendinitis by last night. I've stayed off it all day today. But, I've had to cancel plans for today because I can't drive. I will likely have to cancel for tomorrow and Sunday, too.

Tuesday, with my ankle starting to bother me, I did about 25 minutes of cardio boxing on the Wii with Active. That was fun! I built a little work out and it was pretty challenging - but not deadly. My biceps are still a little sore today. If I could stand for terribly long, I'd do more!

So, yeah, so far I like the Wii and EA Sports Active combo. I still need to figure out more ways to change and tailor the work outs and as I lose weight, that may not matter as much. (Currently, me running in place or jumping is sheer hilarity!) I think I still will use the treadmill here and there, maybe once or twice a week once I get all of this ramped up. The cool thing is that I can include those workouts in the Active software!

Great stuff! Once my ankle is better - more working out! Until then, I will be good on food! I've been good all week.

+11 pounds in 17 days

I just reread my last post. I was so excited. So, what did I do the night after I had all that great news? I celebrated. How does a fat guy celebrate? Ate a large pizza all by myself, including full sugar Coke plus an order of Tiramisu and my boat hasn't stopped rocking until today. I have since repeated that trick twice! That's how one puts on eleven pounds in seventeen days.

If there is any good news here, it's that I didn't get above 475. I lost ground, but it's not irrecoverable. I was good today. I need to hit the grocery store, but what remained in my fridge was good stuff, so I made it through. Tomorrow will be a challenge.

Then, Saturday - well, have you ever done something that was stupid and smart at the same time? I've been spending a ton of time on Facebook playing stupid little video games. The thought kept nagging me that if I spent as much time on the treadmill as I do on those games, I'd weigh 175 by now. Yes, there is plenty of exaggeration there, but that's certainly how I feel.

Friends of mine have a Wii and they love it. There are several active video games. Even the ones not devoted to fitness have you up and moving. I started thinking that if I was going to play a video game, I could at least be off the couch, right?

So, the unemployed guy spent $300+ on a Wii plus additional software.

I went out Saturday to buy a printer. I wondered around the store and a little kid said "Mommy! There's a man over there with a really fat belly!" I get this now and then. I'm a circus side show freak to these kids. "Mommy come look, his legs are fat, too!" I turned and looked at the kid at about the time the mother grabbed him by the face, covering his mouth, and pulled him around behind the shelf she was behind. Not the kid's fault. It's a real reminder that I have to do something.

And I did. I bought fried chicken. Then I went and bought burgers and fries and a big Coke at Wendy's. Then, after the addict had his fix, I went and bought the Wii.

Not only was I good with my diet today, but I did about 30 minutes of cardio with the Wii. I need to tweak the workouts to be kinder to my knees and the thing you are supposed to wear on your thigh doesn't fit my chubby leg, so I need to buy (or build) a bigger strap, but, it was kinda fun and I had a real sense of accomplishment.

There is no magic bullet. Maybe the trick is to fire as many bullets as you can until you hit something.

Bang!

Gushing

I was a little upset a couple of days ago.

With losing my job, this set off a line of dominoes that ended my insurance and that messed up my meds. I ran out of my Glyburide/Metformin. Luckily, I had given some of my older, lower dose pills to Steph who still had them. I knew I ran a big risk lowering my dose, but some was better than none, right? So, I was worried about my blood sugar - my testing was panning out, though.

I have recently gotten COBRA up and going and so I ordered a refill on my meds. When they arrived, instead of a 90 day supply, I had a ten day supply. Well, I was ready to call up MEDCO, the mail order company my insurer insists on using, and letting them have it with both barrels. But, something tugged at the back of my head and I decided to call my doctor first, just in case the mistake had been there. If they had approved the 90 day supply, I'd REALLY let MEDCO have it!

The doctor asked for the 10 day supply - I was due for my physical. My doctor can be quite sneaky and underhanded in her way! I wanted to be angry - but, dammit, I admire sneaky and underhanded!

So, this morning I fasted for my A1C, might have been a mistake, I got up at 7 and my appointment wasn't until 10:30 - yikes! Starving! I checked my weight, 464 - nothing wrong with losing three pounds since Monday! My sugga was 99 - also not bad.

I drove in, guzzling water to prep myself for my ... um ... s-a-m-p-l-e ... and the blood test. 32 ounces of water in and I walked around the mall for an hour to pump the blood a bit. They got me in a few minutes early. My blood pressure was really good! The nurse mentioned it was at a teen-ager's level. Okay! She struck blood on the first try (hydrate before a blood test!!) then it was time to give the s-a-m-p-l-e and then get naked for the doc! That woman has seen me naked more times than my ex-wife!

All the numbers came back excellent! My cholesterol was down, really down. (I have no hard proof, but lots of anecdotal evidence that low-carb dieting lowers cholesterol - word to the wise - nothing like eating bacon and eggs three or four times a week, losing weight and lowering one's cholesterol!) My sugga, by her count, was 91. (Below 100 - good!) My A1C came back 5.7. The doc likes seeing people below a 7 - so I'm well below, also very good!

The doc was congratulating me and telling me how proud she was of me. She was gushing about my results. I didn't get the dour "you can do better" look even once!

I'm not saying Januvia is a diet in pill form. However, it has been a kick in my pants. I don't think I'd be doing this well without it. (Talk to your doctors, folks!) If I can keep my sugga controlled and do what I've been doing for the last couple of months for the next year or so, I'll be in SO much better shape.

I went and had beef and broccoli with salad (no dressing, didn't look good) for, well, it was breakfast with the emphasis on "fast" at that point. I then went and saw UP, and all I had was a Coke Zero. The movie was funny and sad in a good way and since I don't do much caffeine these days, the Coke Zero is wheeeeeee! :)

Just thought I'd share the good news. How are the rest of you doing. Hmmmm???

Still bored.

The diet continues, as does my unemployment. Pretty boring around here.

The big excitement is the diet. Four pounds off, down to 467, not bad at all! Sure, it's not as impressive as the ten pound shocker from last week, but it's also not as freekin' scary! I'll take four pounds a week every week from now on, thank you! That puts me at 400 pounds before the end of the year and that would be just fine!

However, I'm trying not to think about the long term goals. The immediate goals are what I need right now I think. 450 is right around the corner and I'm looking forward to it. As much as I would rather not concentrate on numbers, they are all I have. I really don't feel much better, my clothes are not fitting better and I can't tell I've lost an ounce looking in the mirror. Thirty pounds off 500 just isn't enough to give any of those effects. So, numbers are all I have.

Speaking of numbers, I like that my sugga has been somewhere between 100 and 140. You may not like those numbers, but I'm kinda stuck with them. With losing the job, I've run out of my meds and had to switch to lower doses I (luckily) kept when my dose was moved up. My insurance is back together and I should have meds this week and just in time, I was nearly out of the Januvia and I have no back up on those!

I got on the treadmill for a half hour today. I've been kicking up the incline just for a change. Nothing drastic, just a little more each time. I also did three reps of 30 wall-ups. I think I'll stick at the 30 mark for a while, let my arms catch up.

I've been good with food today and I have a steak waiting for me for dinner.

All in all, a good day on top of a good week last week. Here's hoping I can keep rolling!

Odd little day.

Today has just been an odd little day.

Nothing particularly interesting to report. I just hung out at home. About 4 PM I got bored and took a four hour nap - strange for me, and now kinda bad because I'm very awake and did not cure the boredom.

Breakfast was some bacon & eggs. "Lunch" was some fruit. Dinner was steak & salad. I should have gotten on the treadmill. But, I was on the treadmill Monday, Tuesday and Thursday - no need to push my body. Tomorrow or Monday will be soon enough to get back on. Thursday I did more Wall-ups, three sets of 25 reps. My arms screamed at me at the time but quieted down nearly immediately. That could mean anything I guess.

I'm just sitting here bored, trying to decide if I should just pack it in and go back to bed. However, I had a weird little thing enter my head. I wasn't hungry. True, dinner was a lot of protein and only three hours ago. But, usually if I'm bored, I start scouting for food and thinking about what's at the store if I go get in the car. However, this time, I didn't. And, it some ways, that makes me even more bored! *Sigh!*

The Sitting Man

My instep was fine this morning, but my left ankle was bothering me again. Grrrr!

My ankle doesn't feel too bad right now. So, tomorrow, I'll see about getting back on the treadmill. I need to do my wall-ups if nothing else! The good news is that I was good with food. As you can see there I started with a bowl of cereal. Unusual for a low carb diet, you say? You are correct! But, remember it's LOW carb, not NO carb. I'm not saying I would do the cereal thing everyday and consider myself to still be on the diet, but it was indeed a nice change of pace. Steph wanted me to try this Puffins Cereal. Click on the link and have a look at the Nutrition Info. Do you notice anything odd? 100 calories a serving and about 20 net carbs for those of you that speak low carb - nothing out of the unusual there. Look at the serving size: 2/3 cup! *Snicker!*

That serving size is totally hilarious to me. I actually broke out a 1/3 cup measuring cup and measured up 2/3 cup. I nearly counted the pieces, it couldn't have been more that 50 total, you can probably count them in the picture. I know I have wanted to work on portion control, but this felt so silly to me. I've shown pictures out here of my black salad bowls. Those hold a small bag of "bag salad" - I used to use those as cereal bowls. Fill it up with cheap cereal from one of those bulk bags that you get in the store and milk. Then, I'd go back and add cereal to the milk and milk to the cereal until I popped or ran out of one. Now, I have 2/3 cup of cereal, a banana, a handful of grapes, some Splenda and enough soy milk to cover and it barely half way fills a MUCH smaller bowl. Look at the size of the spoon compared to the bowl! I giggled through the whole meal, which was pretty tasty, BTW. I stopped giggling an hour later when I realized I wasn't hungry and that half a bowl of cereal and fruit filled me. (Portion Control Success!)

I'm not laughing now. I'm thinking back to the hundreds if not thousands of calories of cheap, sugary cereal and milk I used to pour into my body. All that sugar! Now I'm diabetic and lactose intolerant. Wow, no shock, huh? Geez. Dinner was good, too. Steak, mushrooms, pretty peppers, onions and garlic. I have leftover veggies for the next steak I make. Other than some lightly salted nuts and some sugar-free Jell-O, that's it for the day.

Not bad, huh? Keeping the food from feeling like I'm starving or depriving myself is the key, I think. (I hope!) I'm looking forward to next week's weigh in. Seeing 465 would be a tremendous thing! Keep your forks crossed.

The Walking Man

I've been true to my word. The last two days I have done a half hour on the treadmill each day. Nothing outlandish, just good, basic movement. The meter on my treadmill says I burned about 300 calories each time. Nothing wrong with that.

Not only have I been on the treadmill, I've been doing what I like to call wall-ups. Kinda like a push-up, but instead of being on the floor, I'm leaning into a wall. Sounds silly, but I'm worried about my knees. I have very little upper body strength for my size, so putting all the stress on my knees to get to the floor to do two or three push-ups just isn't worth it! The wall-ups are doing their job, anyway! Yesterday I did three sets of 20/10/20 reps. I didn't wait long enough before my second set, my triceps just couldn't do it that fast. Today, I did the three sets of 20 reps and my triceps are telling me about it! I think I will need to do more reps before my biceps start feeling it. I have a little soreness there, but nothing like my triceps. If I can keep this up, I might eventually have something I've never had before: definition in my arms! That would be awesome!

I checked my sugga just to see. It was after Noon by this point and I hadn't eaten yet, so the 114 was a pleasant surprise. Control!

After the work out and a shower, I headed off to the grocery store. I was out of everything. (I'm still out of Splenda! D'oh!) What I ended up with there was another walk, this time for about an hour. My left in-step is yelling at me right now. It's a kinda good - kinda bad yelling. I'm still going to try to get on the treadmill tomorrow, but I'm sure the foot will not be happy about it.

The good news is that I achieved a full fridge and cupboards, all healthy food and under what I thought I would end up paying! (Got some good deals on meat!) You see, the strategy here is that if I've got a full fridge and plenty of grab and eat type foods, I won't be tempted to get in the car and go find fast food or other cheats. I am using my natural laziness as an advantage!

I'm on the wagon. What about the rest of you? Hmmmmm????? ;)

Very Confused

Last week was a weird week for me. It wasn't bad, just unusual. I used that as an excuse to fall into old habits. No working out. I ate like crap. Pasta, fries, candy, cake and real soda - I ate whatever and didn't think about it. Actually, I thought a lot about it and just did it anyway - which is also my typical.

Yet, I lost 10 pounds.

How the hell do I lose 10 pounds and eat crap? Not only that, but losing 10 pounds in seven days seems really high! I'm worried about hurting myself!

My sugga this morning was at 139 - that's about right. But I'm trying to figure out the 10 pounds thing. Maybe my scale is having delusions? I dunno.

So, for the moment, I'm just going to accept it as a gift. I broke 475 - yea! I'm not going to squander this gift. I'm back on the wagon. My ankle bothered me on and off last week, but it's fine now, so I need to get on the treadmill. The longer I am heavy, the more damage that will do to my knees and ankles anyway. Dammed if I do/don't get on the treadmill so I might as well just do it!

Let's hope I can keep up a losing pace.

That's better!

Yup, the counter is correct. 481. That's 8 pounds in 10 days. None too shabby!

I ran an errand first thing this morning, so I only had time for a bar. When I got back I checked my blood sugar: 115. Not shabby either - "controlled" is a good word!

So, I did some chores, then got on the treadmill. Did that for about 45 minutes - burned about 400 calories. Before my shower, I checked my sugga again for a giggle - 90! Control is good!

I've been good with food and everything.

I'm hoping to see 475 next week, but that's a lot to ask. Two weeks is good enough.

I'm so glad this is working. I want to see 400 by the end of the year!!!

Subway? D'oh!

I'm double worried. Since I have lost my job, it seems to be taking forever for my insurance paper-work to get processed. I'm running low on my meds, running out more precisely.

However, since I've been pretty strict on my low carb, I've started having more moments of dizziness and light-headedness. Nothing severe, just know my sugga is low. I think my meds might be a tad too high. Once all of this insurance mess gets sorted and I've taken my weight down a little more, I'm going to see the doc, see what she thinks about lowering my meds.

Of course, to counteract this - I cheated. Didn't want to, ran out of options. I'm helping my friends by going to their place and letting their dog out. I was running late for letting the poor thing out, but wanted to get food so I didn't pass out! On the way to their place is a PCC. These stores are exactly where the hippies meet the yuppies - over priced, pretentious "natural" foods. Silly. But, I thought I'd have a better time there finding food on my diet than at the pizza place in the same strip mall.

No dice! Everything was bread or pasta. Their desserts were certainly tempting. The cold beverage isle was either water (I don't pay for water!) or bottled drinks so loaded with sugar as to be laughable. Not a normal diet drink to be found.

Gave up on them, running out of time on the poor dog's bladder, I went to Subway, got a double meat Club on wheat. First, that's a freakin' expensive sandwich, I never really paid attention before. The way I'm currently eating, I could have eaten for two days for the price of that sandwich. Second, could they put out a few more chips and cookies? Could they torture we carb cheaters just a bit more, huh?

I wanted the chips but passed. I oh so REALLY wanted the cookies. I don't know how I got out of there without them.

So, phooey on PCC and Subway and the Teriyaki place that was closed on Sunday - I could have made an easy choice there! The whole world is out to make me fat! Well, fatter!

It's Saturday? Really?

Just another day in The Land of the Lost for me!

Hung out with a friend last night, we saw "Angels & Demons" - very close to the book, BTW - and the book was good so good have fun! I only had a Coke Zero - and a tiny bladder. I think there is something about dieting that shrinks up my stomach capacity and my bladder capacity as well. I almost never have to RUN to the bathroom in the middle of a movie. I sure did last night. Dinner was at a Thai place in the mall - I had steak and steamed veggies. The steak was incredible! It was marinated and very flavorful, plus the lime-chili-soy sauce that came with it just boosted the flavor party. In case I'm not being clear, it was really good!

Breakfast was more like lunch today - left over chicken that I baked the other day. Dinner is pictured; pan-seared petite sirloins over spiced stir-fried peppers, mushrooms and onions. Pretty darned tasty! I bought a pack of these petite sirloins the other day. For six, it was $10. Didn't seem like a bad price to me. I knew I'd make one meal and freeze the rest. I figured I'd get at least 3 meals out of the pack - $3 for a steak dinner sounds like a value to me.

Only one problem - my portion control issues. Well, my shrinking stomach stepped in and reminded me. I got through about one and a third of the steaks in the picture and only half of the veggies - that's a whole bell pepper and not a small one! Plus a whole onion, a large portion of mushrooms and four cloves of garlic! (Yum!) Anyway, the rest of the plate above is in the fridge for lunch tomorrow and I'll get another four meals out of that pack of steaks - making six $1.50 steak dinners! I feel so frugal!

I'm getting antsy about weighing in on Monday. Not nervous - I just want to have lost some weight! Over all I'm aiming at 200. I want to see 400 by the end of the year. But, I'd love to get to 475 soon - that's where I started when I began Adkins four years ago. Hitting 475 will make me feel like I'm really on track. But, immediately, hitting 485 will feel pretty good - that will be the lowest I've weighed this year. I hope to get there this week or next!

Bring on the weekend ...

... and why not? It's not like it matters to me. Being unemployed, the weekend is just like any other day. The major difference is that all of a sudden your friends are very willing to do activities. Hmmm! :)

I'm still being good. Looking forward to getting on the scale on Monday - how weird is that?



I baked up a ton of chicken yesterday - so that served as yesterday's breakfast. And I have about three or four meals of left overs - total cost was about $7. Dinner was steak and salad (I apologize for the poor pic quality - took it with my cell phone. I was bragging to a friend!) I found a T-Bone in the Reduced for Quick Sale section of the grocery store's meat department. The steak was thick and quite the value. I have a cast iron grill pan - I used that to cook the steak in the oven - thank you Alton Brown! I thought I had ruined it, turned out it was nearly perfect. I used VERY little of that A1! Didn't need it. Sure, a real grill would probably have given me better results, but the pan did an amazing job! Not a bad meal for cheap(er) meat!



Breakfast this morning was fresh fruit. (Those black bowls of mine do get around, don't they?) A friend of mine over the weekend expressed her fears that I wasn't getting enough fresh fruit. As a low carb person and as a person watching his sugga and sugar intake, fresh fruit is often a no-no. However, I've been eating a lot of canned fruit recently as a replacement for candy and other sweets. So, going to fresh fruit didn't seem like such a jump. Besides, the fresh fruit with soy milk I had for "dinner" the other night was really good! The weight seems to be coming off, maybe a little fruit isn't so bad? We'll see. One of these days I need to check my blood sugar! Haven't checked in in more than a month.

But, let's think about what I actually ate here. I have:

2 Bananas
1 Pear
1 Cup Grapes
1 Cup Soy Milk
Ton of Splenda (Darn my sweet tooth!)

All told it's about 550 calories, give or take. It's also about 65 to 70 grams of sugar. So, yeah, it's a lot of sugar, but it was a lot of fruit and a good deal of protein. It's been three or so hours since breakfast and I'm still full. As per always, I need to watch my portion control, I could have had just one banana, and been 110 calories lighter and 15 carbs less. I'll probably have a decent dinner with a friend tonight and still come in well under the 2000 calorie mark.

Hopefully, the fruit was a good trade off. The scale on Monday will tell the tale. I'll let you all know!

No treadmill yet.

I hurt my ankle on Monday. So, I'm taking extra ibuprofen in the hopes that I will get my ass on the treadmill next week. The ankle is better, but I'm cautious. Limping into a job interview - if I ever get one - doesn't look too good for the fat guy.

The diet is still fully on. Filled the fridge yesterday with all kinds of goodies. Chicken and little steaks and salad and sugar free Jell-o for snacking, etc. I bought fresh bananas and pears and grapes. Looooooow carb!

Today was bacon and eggs for breakfast. Lunch was left over roast chicken. Dinner ended up being two bananas, sliced, with the end of last week's grapes, Splenda and soy milk. I had Jell-o pudding for a snack. Being unemployed means having no structure and meals are starting to get fuzzy for me. I've been going to bed late, which means getting up late, so by the time I check my email and goof around, "breakfast" is actually closer to eleven or noon. Everything just migrates from there.

Did something last night I haven't done in years: played D&D with friends on a school night! It was pretty fun, except for one little issue. The DM used candy to represent the monsters on the board. So, when you killed a monster, he offered the candy to you! I think next time I'll bring some sugar-free stuff so I don't sit there and drool over the Rolos and Gummi Bears! Don't even get me going about the ice cream everyone ate after they finished their pasta! Oy!

I left my diet around here somewhere ...

I'm in the new apartment. My soon to be ex-wife is in her new place. My job is gone, lost that a month ago now. My life has certainly taken a turn.

I'm hoping to find a new job fairly quick, but I know with the market and my (rusted) skill set, that won't happen soon. I have a shot at a job in California, I'm just not looking forward to moving to Cali.

So, I'm watching every penny. Since I'm watching my money so close, I might as well watch what I'm eating, too, right? For about the last three weeks I have been mostly on my low carb diet. Yeah, I cheated, but it's been way more on days than off.

This past weekend, I knew I would be hanging out with friends, going to the movies, etc. - I fully intended on cheating to high heaven. It's depressing being broke and out of work, I deserved a little comfort food, right? So, Friday night I'm chatting with a certain other blogger that shall remain nameless. As we are chatting, I get curious and go plug in my scale. I weigh 489 - not bad for a guy that wasn't trying too hard, not exercising and cheating like a bandit. Where could I be if I actually tried?

Dammit! There goes all my fun for the weekend! :)

I did have one seriously carb heavy cheat meal, but I was good the rest of the weekend and I have been good since. I'm especially proud of the movie excursion. I brought peanuts and cashews from the drug store (why don't they sell nuts at the movies?) and I got a Coke Zero at the theater. A little high in salt, but on my diet.

Right now I'm writing out my grocery list. I've been a dumb boy and left myself with no food in the house and now I have to go to the store hungry - mistake! However, if I stick to my list, I'll be fine. I will most likely be coming home with a roast chicken, though!

Oh! That reminds me. For you low carbers out there, I love the new "grilled" chicken at KFC. It's pricey, but for fast food it's pretty good stuff. It's an answer to the drive-thru dilemma.

This is a new post.

Just thought I'd remind you all what a new post out here looks like.

This would be it.

I'll get back on the diet soon. March has been a bite in the ass and I don't expect better from April. Come May, things will calm back down and I'll have nothing better to do than diet, get on the treadmill and diet. (That's right - I'll double up on the dieting!) I have a doctor's appointment first week of May - she will be unhappy with me, but I don't know how else to handle things right now.

The weight above is accurate as of Monday. I've put back a few I lost. Considering how I have been eating, I'm shocked it's not more. I'll keep updating my weight.

All things will be better in May. Well, not all things I guess, but I will get back on the diet.

"On" by Accident.

Seems like I've said this phrase a lot recently: I didn't plan to be here, I tripped and this is where I landed.

For breakfast I had three pieces of bacon. Later, I had a bar. Then, I looked up and it was 3:45. So, I had another bar and some nuts.

Dinner was two chicken breasts that I grilled up with just garlic powder and Ms. Dash - the skin was on and I grilled them just about perfectly. They were only a little dry. I had a salad with that and by passed an offer of Girl Scout Cookies.

I might have some canned fruit before bed. Either way, I didn't go get the Reese's Peanut Butter Bunny that I thought about getting earlier today.

Sounds pretty good now ... :)

What the Doc said ...

So, it's been a week since I've written. Been a wild ride, lots going on.

I haven't been terribly "on" - my diet has been the last thing on my mind. My wife and I are finally out of the closet about our divorce. We've spent most of the last week getting apartments and pulling apart our finances.

Saw the doctor Friday. Before I went, I checked my sugga, 114 - the lowest I'd seen. My weight was 487. The doctor took my blood, my sugga was 78 - the lowest I have ever seen in the four plus years I've been measuring. However, my A1C was 8.3. The doc said she likes to see her diabetic patients around a 7. No shock, my sugga has been falling, but it's taken its own sweet time. So, she is putting me on Januvia as well as my other meds.

She joked that she has seen some weight loss with this drug, she hoped I wouldn't mind. My doc is a card!

Steph is letting me keep the treadmill - her apartment complex has a gym that looks like a mini-Bally's. Good news for both of us.

I'll get back on hardcore soon. Between the time we are spending with this "reorg" of our lives and the emotional eating opportunities, the diet is taking a back seat.

Flailing

I was a bad boy this weekend, and I paid for it. I managed to put on 5 pounds with three days of cheating and my blood sugar was 174 on Monday.

I've been good since.

But, tonight all I wanted was to bury myself in food. Today was quite possibly the worst day I've had at work in months, and that's saying something. When your new manager tells you that "maybe this isn't the place for you" and you have had nothing but problems finding another job before the economy tanked - well, all I wanted to do was crawl in the corner.

I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. Suddenly my diet is the last thing on my mind.

I'm going to bed now.

New Jeans

My wife bought me a couple of new pairs of jeans. Today being "Casual Friday" at work - a relatively new thing in my office, I wore my new jeans. Nothing special about them. They are comfy and inexpensive. However, I managed to get the waist on them adjusted about perfectly on the first try: not too tight to cut into me and not too loose so that they just fall off. Not bad.

I was good on food at work. I had and omelet and bacon for breakfast, an apple and nuts for snacks and some left over turkey for lunch.

However, we had a little deja vu at dinner. We had a friend over this evening and it was determined that we should get pizza. So, I ate and ate well and the pizza was the best pizza I've had in ages. The carrot cake afterward was good as well.

I don't think I can continue this trend of being good all day and going wild at night, but it was fun the last two days. Back to the grindstone tomorrow. I doubt Monday is going to be terribly impressive for numbers.

Comfort Food

I missed posting yesterday. I started this blog and this diet with all kinds of gusto - I was going to finally do it! I was going to stick with a diet and lose all the weight and I was going to post my triumphs to my blog every day.

That lasted about a week.

I've learned a few truths in the last two months. For one, there is no such thing as "every day" in my life. Each day is unique. Many more of them are in the "sucks" pile than I would like, but they are all different. The second truth I have learned is that the road to discipline is fraught with distractions and detours - and apparently I am something of a tourist. But, the journey isn't about what distracted you along the way, it's about getting back on the right road and getting to your destination. I wish I had learned that lesson the last time I seriously dieted. Four years, quite the detour.

Nothing unusual about yesterday. I was a good boy food wise, I stayed up too late and went to bed without writing my post. That would have made a pretty boring post, no?

Today was different. We had some snow this morning, so we decided to go in a little late, let the suckers get off the highway. Steph made me some eggs for breakfast - very nice of her.

I got to work and ate a Slim Fast bar. About an hour later, I started having lower GI issues, I won't give too many details, but I was in the Gents every hour after that. I tried eating a pear, but that was about all the food I got.

As if my job hasn't been bad enough this week - I had to do it out of the john!

By the time dinner rolled around, I had taken enough TUMS to calm my pipes. I was starving and wanted comfort food. Lipton Chicken Flavored Noodles with left over turkey. It was really good and just what my over exerted system wanted.

The huge piece of chocolate cake that followed was for my soul. It was damned good, too.

If it tells you anything, I washed it down with a Diet 7UP. Apparently this old dog does learn new tricks.

Fat Tuesday

So, if I've been dieting since before the beginning of the year, does that mean I get freebie calories from God for Lent?

Yeah - didn't think so! :)

Soy milk with my meds. Three strips of bacon and a sausage patty for breakfast. Lunch was leftover chicken and broccoli. There were some nuts here and there. Dinner was turkey and salad. I considered fruit after dinner, but I was too full!

They had one of their anniversary things today at work. No cupcakes this time, but lots of yummy smelling pop corn. I resisted. I wasn't willing to trade my streak for a handful of cheap pop corn.

Now, if we were talking half a birthday cake - you might have a deal! :)

It's all good.

So, the weekly weigh in came up three pounds lighter at 486. We're finally seeing progress! Blood sugar was 145, not too bad.

Breakfast was three strips of bacon and a sausage patty. Would have been frittata, but they used powdered egg in it and it sucked. C'mon! Use the real eggs! Support the economy!

Lunch was teriyaki. I walked back and didn't have to stop to pull up my pants once! I had nuts for a snack and had a soy shake before I left for the day.

Dinner was mustard chicken left overs and home-made coleslaw. Steph is an awesome cook!

A good day on the diet. (I'm feeling the zone, Sue!) I hope I can keep going with this three or more pounds a week. At three pounds a week, I wouldn't be worried about losing weight too fast and I'd see 400 by about September. Not bad.

Geeking out with Friends

Hung out with my friends today, being a geek.

The day started off with some really good scrambled eggs - I made them! Four eggs, cooked in better, with cheese. Excellent!

I snacked on nuts. About 4PM we got around to getting some food. I got a HUGE portion of teriyaki. I ordered extra meat, but I didn't think they would give me a trunk full of chicken! I was so hungry that I slipped into my old habits and gorged before I thought about what I was doing. It was pretty good stuff, though!

I might have some jello or fruit before bed. I didn't do too bad today.

Booooring! :)

Breakfast was large; I had an omelet with onions, peppers, ham & cheese, four strips of bacon and a sausage patty. Needless to say I wasn't hungry for hours.

Lunch was a large serving of left over turkey. I had an apple before I left work. I didn't even eat any nuts today!

Dinner was Chicken and Snow Peas from our favorite Chinese place. I ate about a third of the serving. It was good, but it didn't take much to fill me.

Sour Dough

I was starving by the time I had my breakfast, the little bit of soy milk I had with my meds had gone away. So, I had a sandwich: two slices of sour dough, two slices of cheddar, a sausage patty and I asked for four strips of bacon but I think the guy gave me six or more. It was a hell of a good sandwich - too bad about the carbs. I'll live.

The rest of the day was okay. I had nuts and a pear for snacks. Lunch was a salad with left over turkey. Dinner was a burrito bowl from Chipoltle: beans, steak, cheese, sour cream and some lettuce garnish because there wasn't much room left in the bowl!

I think I will survive a carb here and there. Had I eaten the donuts that looked good at Club 40 this morning or the cookies from Specialty's (Huge box! Free! Muffins, too!) or the rice or chips from Chipoltle tonight, that would be a different story.

I'm looking forward to seeing my numbers on Monday.

Just to make it official ...

Food for the day:

Soy milk with meds. Two strips of bacon and a sausage patty plus maybe three bites of the powdered eggs. (I put in my suggestion last week - I guess they haven't gotten there yet.)

Lunch was salad with left over turkey, plus two fruit cups in Splenda syrup. Probably won't buy those again, the mandarin oranges were totally tasteless and smelled weird. There were nuts here and there to keep the tummy happy.

Dinner was essentially chili on salad with sour cream - my wife's idea of "low carb taco salad."

Nothing wrong with the day.

Suspension Bridge

Quoteth the Squishy!:

Hey Jericho! Have you thought about investing in some suspenders? I'm sure that they would be much more comfortable, and your pants wouldn't fall off. If you didn't want anyone to see them, you could just wear them over a t-shirt and then pull on your regular shirt over them. Personally though, I like suspenders. My papa always wore them, and I thought they looked sharp on those guys in the older movies- back in the days when people wore nice clothes regularly.

Anyway, it's just an idea- something to possibly get you by until your clothes fit you the way that you want them too.

Nope, hadn't considered suspenders, but I am now!

It's probably a real good idea. See, I have this "apron gut." It flows down most of my front. These days I wear really loooong shirts to cover it. (If they made 7XL Tall shirts, I'd buy them!). With most of my shirts, my belly is barely hidden, just a half inch above the bottom of the shirt. (My shirt today is super long! Love It!!!)

However, my fear is that as I lose weight, the apron/balloon will deflate and the skin will dip even lower. My hope is that it will begin to retract, but who knows? As big as my belly is it might end up around my knees!

I was not looking forward to having to purchase some new, large waist pants, and put a belt around my gut. Or, maybe wearing a girdle. However, now that we are thinking about suspenders, that might be a better solution. I'll look like a Simpson's character for a while (Hell! Who am I kidding? I look like Homer now!) - but that is much preferred to having gross looking flesh peeking out from under my shirt.

And, yes, someday there will have to be a tummy tuck. Affording it is a different question.

There's my saddle!

It's always in the last place you look!

Yes, I'm back in the saddle. The 5AM alarm did not succeed in getting me on the treadmill, but that was my biggest problem for the day.

I began the day with some Silk for my meds - it's a little high in carbs, switching from the chocolate to the vanilla as soon as this one is done, the vanilla has less sugar. It's only a few swallows, enough to get my meds down and qualify as "food".

Breakfast was two bacon strips and a sausage patty - I know, huge breakfast!

By lunch I was pretty starved, the nuts I ate were not enough. I walked down to my favorite teriyaki place and got a beef & chicken combo, no rice with extra veggies.

I'd walk down there more often, but, I have a problem: I don't own a waist. Since I'm all belly from my boobs to my knees, I wear my pants under my belly. (I could wear them over my belly, but either I would need a ten foot long belt or I would need to wear them under my boobs - not sexy!)

I wear the draw string pants. If I wear a belt, eventually the buckle cuts into my belly and hurts - to the point of bruising and even bleeding! If I wear a belt, or wear my pants tight enough to stay up, they cut in and that hurts. If I wear them loose enough to not hurt, they drop to my ankles - FUMP!

Every now and then I get my drawstring ~ just so ~ and the pants stay up with minimal effort and don't hurt. This is SO rare and with my body changing shape, it literally varies from day to day. (See recent weight fluctuations) Today was not a good pants day.

The whole walk down I'm tugging my pants up. On the way back, I have a package ... of food! So I have to stop at least every block if not twice every block, put down my food, tug up my pants, then off I go on my chubby way again. It's annoying and embarrassing.

Dinner was turkey and salad - nothing too exciting but it was tasty and most importantly ... ON!

Rough Day

So, for the good news: Yes, I finally - FINALLY! - got below 490. 489 is not a bad number when one has struggled to get there for two months. My blood sugar was 174 - which is down from last Monday, also a good deal.

But, as soon as I won one, I lost one.

I had a long and emotionally charged conversation with my wife. It wasn't a "fight" - she and I are confrontation-phobes so we don't "fight." But, it was none the less difficult. After that, my diet just didn't matter. It was also after 1PM and I hadn't eaten yet so I was ready to eat anything.

I'm not going to detail the embarrassing amount of food I tried to shove into myself to make me feel better. It was a lot of food. So much food I wasn't hungry for dinner.

I can't imagine what my blood sugar looks like now.

Pizza & Fries

I took my meds with some chocolate Silk. "Breakfast" was closer to "Lunch" and consisted of chicken stew leftovers.

Steph made us some coffee drinks. Mine was more half & half than coffee. The combination of the coffee and my new found (and oft forgotten) lactose intolerance left me dashing for the bathroom. The grapes while I was watching TV might have aided this process.

Of course while we were watching TV, they pounded us with fast food commercials, leading both of us to moan in delight and scream in exasperation. Along the line Steph mentioned the combination of Pizza and French Fries - and that just sounded so GOOD.

That's all it took. That combo stuck in my head. I was nearly chanting this phrase: Pizza & Fries. PIZZA & FRIES!!

When it came time for dinner, I was in quite a knot. I really wanted Pizza & Fries. I knew it was a stupid idea. It sounded good, it might even taste good, but I would have felt like crap afterward and I've done so well this week. On the other hand, nothing else was going to taste as good as my brain had built up the combo of Pizza & Fries to taste. I was having an emotional tug of war with my mind, my diet, my addiction and a fictional fast food combination. It was stupid and I knew it was at the time. No matter what I did, I was making a poor choice. Finally, I told Steph that I'd rather starve.

Yes, I know how stupid all of that sounds. I knew it at the time. I'm really struggling with this diet. I'm winning the battles and yet it feels like I'm losing the war.

In the end, Steph was the sensible one. Bunless triple Whoppers and Tender Grill Salads from BK were purchased and consumed.

My weigh in tomorrow morning should be interesting.

Movie Night

Late brunch - quiche; eggs, onion, bacon, ham & cheese. My wife makes awesome food.

We went to the movies with friends. No popcorn or candy, just a Diet Coke.

Dinner was back at our friends' place. We bought dinner fixins since they bought the movie - this included white sauce for their home-made pasta and a full cheesecake. Did I have any? Nope. Steak and salad.

Getting tired of steak & salad. I want more donuts and cheesecake.

I'm going to bed soon - I'll try not to dream of donuts.

Not too bright, this one.

I forgot that Steph was taking the day off today, so I got up late. I rushed through my shower and got dressed. I remembered Steph had packed my lunch Thursday night, so I shoved it in my bag and headed for work.

When I got to work, I smelled something I recognized. Sweet, but with a hint of fat. I followed my nose to four dozen free donuts that someone brought for the team. They were so pretty and smelled divine. I took a big whiff ... and headed for Club 40.

Friday is omelet day at Club 40, mushrooms and cheddar, as well as four bacon strips and two sausage patties (The donuts made me HUNGRY!)

My day, in a word, sucked. I really considered leaving early. On a bright note that was something of a mixed blessing, there was an announcement that due to all of our hard work on the project I worked on all week, management bought us pizza. The pies from local killer pizza place Zeek's arrived at about noon. I followed my nose to eight fresh baked, perfect pizzas. I took a big whiff ... and headed for Club 40.

Nothing appealed to me at Club 40. The salad bar looked awful. They had General Tso's Chicken with rice - just a FEW carbs there. I was in such a bad mood I said the hell with it and went back to my desk. I had nuts and a bar if I needed it.

About 1:30 a friend of mine came by and wanted to go sit and eat lunch at Club 40. I had very little else to do, so, sure, I went with him. Nothing looked good, so I settled for a roast beef and cheddar sandwich on caraway rye bread. Good sandwich - the first carbs I had all week!

As I was getting ready to leave for the day, I picked up my bag and it seemed awful heavy. Oh yeah! My lunch bag that I totally forgot! Left over turkey and Asian BBQ pork - perfect for adding to a salad, not to mention little fruit cups with Splenda! That would have been WAY better than the sandwich - D'oh!!!

Dinner was low carb chicken stew - Steph's most recent proud creation. It was pretty good - I went back for seconds!

Got up too early.

Got up at 5AM to head into work for a project. I was at the bus stop at 6 and at my desk at 7. I had a shake with my meds, at 5:30, so by 7:30 I was a little shaky - my vision always goes a little wonky and I get a little dizzy and feel kinda fragile when my blood sugar drops. Club 40 wasn't open yet, luckily I had a meal replacement bar.

About 9 I went for breakfast. I stupidly ordered the powdered eggs and four strips of bacon. Eggs went into the garbage. They just put up a suggestion box - I plan to fill it for them!

By the time 1PM rolled around, I was dying. I had had a few nuts, but they were not filling the void. There was turkey on the salad bar, so a large salad was consumed.

Dinner was turkey. Just turkey. Good turkey.

I finished the project, thankfully. Tomorrow is Friday, followed by a three day weekend. I can use all of those that I can get!

Flakey Blood Sugar

So, this morning I took my blood sugar. After yesterday's great readings I thought it might be col to see further progression. No dice. My Sugga was 211. I don't understand how less than 12 hours after getting a 140 and not in taking any food, I went up 70 points. Screwed up body! I'm not letting it get to me, it's just weird.

Breakfast was bacon, sausage and fruit salad. I had an apple. Lunch was Leftover Surprise comprised of chicken with snow peas from last night, chicken satay from the this weekend and pineapple chunks left over from the Super Bowl - it was a smaller portion than it might sound. I had some nuts. Dinner was a bunless triple whopper and salad. Portion size was good, but I was a little high on fruit. I'll watch that.

I'm off to work early tomorrow to handle a project.

Totally Forgot My Update!

And I was a good boy yesterday, too!

Started the day off with a random blood sugar test. It was 161. Not shabby, getting better all the time.

Breakfast was two strips of bacon, a sausage patty and an apple.

Lunch was two burger patties (rubber!) with cheese and pickles & a salad.

There were nuts for snacks.

Dinner was chicken with snow pea pods and egg drop soup from our favorite Chinese place to celebrate Steph's birthday. No rice, no noodles, nothing!

All I drank yesterday was water.

This radical U-turn in my diet has hit my lower GI pretty hard. So, since I was in the bathroom anyway, I again checked my Sugga: 140. This was about an hour after dinner. Not bad.

Last week I ate like a pig!

But, I'm back on this week. I weigh 495 and my blood sugar was 194 this morning. Considering how I abused myself over the weekend, I'm shocked it wasn't higher.

And, BTW, no worries, Sue. I was a BIG pig! On top of that, I missed a post yesterday.

Breakfast was three poached eggs (I should say rubber eggs, ate them anyway) two slices of bacon and one sausage patty. Lunch was a medium salad, no meat - all they had was ham. Dinner was a T Bone and salad. I drank water until I got home, and I've only had one can of Diet Rite (No sugar, No caffeine).

My ankle is bothering me. My tendinitis is acting up from all the driving I did this weekend. Hopefully that will clear up before the end of the week and I can get on the tread mill.

I've got a lot on my mind, the job is just the most obvious stressor. I need to find better outlets for my stress than eating. I also need to change my attitude. Last week I allowed the fact that I only lost one pound become a rallying point for my stress to push me over to old, bad habits. I was telling myself that at one pound a week it would take me six years to lose the weight and that I could not stand to diet for six years. Well, duh, I am going to have to watch my weight for not just six years, but the rest of my life. And, a pound lost is better than a pound gained. Losing a pound a week is what normal dieters do. It's a reasonable, healthy thing. My need for instant gratification needs to take a hike. I won't find instant satisfaction with my diet or the results of my diet - I've got a long road ahead.

Good Day. Still off.

I had a good, relaxing day. I ate like a pig.

Tie some knots in that rope, I'll climb back in the wagon on Monday.

Still Off

Breakfast was an omelet, with potatoes. Lunch was a sandwich and pretzels. I bought Nilla wafers. I drank full sugar soda.

Dinner was a Mexican food feast.

Ummm ... yeah. Monday will be interesting.

Totally Off

Totally off today. Didn't even care.

I'll get back on. Over the weekend or Monday.

Monday's numbers will likely suck. Serves me right for jumping off the wagon. Jumping off into the arms of the whore I love: food. My drug, my poison.

Didn't win the lotto. Played again. You people need to pray harder!

Still Alive, Mostly "On"

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, here, it's worth one blog post. That is exactly how I feel. I can't think of anything else to say.

Stress Eating

I didn't go to bed at 6 last night. I stayed up and ate pasta with Alfredo sauce and chocolate chip cookies. Tonight I had two Big Macs and fries and more chocolate chip cookies.

Do I feel good about this? No. But, I'm an addict, when I get stressed, I go to where I'm happy, and that's with a pile of junk food in front of me.

I don't know what to do about my job. I couldn't find another job before the economic crash. Now I'm really and truly stuck. And the stress is just getting worse and worse. I'm ready to scream. Or eat myself to death.

I played the Lotto - pray for me.

Too Frustrated

Today has been a real bitch at work. I got a good breakfast, fried eggs and bacon, but then work went down hill. I didn't get lunch until 1:30 and then I had the pulled pork sandwich. Bread - not quite comfort food.

At this point I'm going to go home, change the cat boxes (joy) and go right to bed.

Very Frustrated

My blood sugar is 189. I only lost one pound. If I had drank a glass of water I wouldn't have noticed that loss. My blood sugar is up. Sure, it's only a small amount, but it should be down, not up.

Perfect way to start the week. Perfect.

Super Bowl ... of Chili

I began my Sunday by sleeping in, then grabbing a shower, my meds and a shake before we headed out for an errand. While out, Steph and I were so hungry we had a hot dog. I don't think the carbs in a bun will kill me. The dog itself was good!

It being Super Bowl Sunday, and we being fat people, Steph prepared food for twelve. The smart thing she did was make it all low carb. We have left overs for the week.

I stayed low carb and I think I can say I even stayed on the good side of portion control, but I did indeed eat! There was Sweet & Sour Meatballs, Chili (Super Yum!), Teriyaki Chicken Legs, celery and Ranch dip, cole slaw, green grapes and a full on craving for chocolate ship cookies that I never fulfilled. I don't know where the cookie craving came from, but I specifically wanted chocolate chip cookies. Not cake or donuts, chocolate chip cookies. Go fig!

So far this has been an interesting diet. The blog thing is unique for me. I have never filled out a blog daily and I didn't think I'd make a full month, but indeed I have. I hope that it's been worthwhile reading my ramblings - it's certainly keeping me honest.

Couch Pear

I can't have potatoes, thus I'm a couch pear. I thought about "couch apple" but that brings up the wrong image!

Today was spent watching TV on the couch. Yeah, it wasn't active, but I just don't have the energy. Once I'm used to the amped up meds, maybe I'll get around a bit more.

I had a shake. Then I had baked chicken and cole slaw. I finished the chicken for dinner. I had fruit and nuts and pears and grapes as snacks. Not bad on food.

It was a good, relaxing day.

Just Friday

I had my shake, then an omelet and two sausage patties for breakfast. Lunch was chicken left overs with broccoli. There were nuts, a pear and an apple.

Dinner was a large portion of teriyaki with a small salad.

I avoided cake at a work function. I might have a pear before I go to bed.

I better lose weight on Monday!

What the Gordita???

I took my blood sugar this morning, 184 means the pills are working.

I had my shake with my meds. My breakfast was powdered eggs, sausage patty and bacon, except the eggs were so bad I tossed them. About 11 I was STARVING. I had already eaten some nuts and a pear, but I was dying. So, I went back to Club 40 and got a grilled cheddar and bacon sandwich on marble rye. Yeah, it was good. It was bread, but it wasn't a lot of beard - they were serving other sandwiches on Texas Toast!

Lunch was chicken and broccoli and I had an apple. When I got to the car, Steph and I were immediately talking about dinner. Both of us were hungry, stressed and wanted junk food. It's an hour home and the whole thing was an ordeal! What junk food do you want? Should we really cheat? What junk food do you want? If I cheat I have to put it in my blog - $#@&$# BLOG!!!

I came to the conclusion that I might as well just go home and go to bed. If we didn't cheat, the food would not be what I wanted. If I did cheat, I'd feel all guilty and, really, is a meal worth that much guilt?

In the end, Steph made chicken and salad. It wasn't a cheat and it wasn't what I wanted. The fruit and Jello helped my sweet tooth but only a little.

I hate being fat. But, I hate being an addict more. There had better be some weight loss on Monday. If there isn't, I don't know what I'll do!

Just a day.

I doubled my meds today. Last time I have to do that until the doc sees me. No ill effects so far. I think I might check my blood sugar in the morning to see where I am.

Shake, bacon, sausage, (very little) powdered eggs, nuts, poultry over salad, apple, small T Bone and broccoli. *Yawn!* At this stage in the diet, food loses all it's sparkle and interest for me. It's just food. This must be how heroin addicts feel about methadone.

Kinda looking forward to weighing in on Monday, I hope to see some weight gone.

Waste of a Donut!

I love donuts. No, seriously, it's like a romantic thing with me. I'm very affectionate with my pastry!

When I got to work today, I went to Club 40 and saw that, unlike many days, they had donuts. Good donuts and a bunch of them. I could have bought four of them. I would have enjoyed them very much. Instead I had powdered eggs. Life isn't fair.

I also had bacon and a sausage patty and a salad with chicken for lunch and left over quiche for dinner with canned fruit and sugar free Jello for dessert. Nuts for a snack. I know you know most of this.

The worst part is that when I went to get my salad at lunch, two of the donuts from breakfast were wrapped in plastic and still for sale. But, they are never as good that late in the day. What a waste. I would have made a good donut daddy. A proud pastry parent!

Relapse

Being an addict means you are always saying you are sorry.

But, I'm not sorry. Not yet.

The day started off as good as a Monday can. My blood sugar was 202. The increased meds are indeed working. I still have a double up on those in a couple of days - I'm sure my number will go down further. My weight went to 492. I guess it's better than going up. I sure would like to see less than 490 - not that I will get there quick.

I had my shake-meds cocktail. Breakfast was a small portion of powdered eggs, two strips of bacon and two sausage links, not patties - smaller!

I had some nuts. Lunch was left over chicken and turkey over salad. I had an apple in the afternoon.

A combination of hunger, stress and my wife and I enabling each other led us to another casino buffet for dinner. (Lots of casinos in the area!) I went fully intending to stuff my face while stuffing my diet! I didn't care. I needed my fix.

Somewhere my brain kinda kicked in, a little. I opened with protein, a lot of protein! I'm not going to say how much exactly, let's just say it was very much. By the time I got all the protein down, the fire was out of me and I only had room for one, very nice, piece of chocolate cake. It was REALLY good.

So, dinner was a total loss, full of disaster and shame - and excellent chocolate cake. The rest of the day, food wise, was okay.

Blart

Steph and I got up and out before 10 AM. Not bad for a Sunday. We wanted breakfast before we did a few fun errands.

Breakfast was three fried eggs, three bacon strips and a 12 oz. tri tip. I also ate the fruit garnish. I however did not get any bread or hash browns.

We did our errands, then went off to the movies. We finally got to see the movies we wanted to see last weekend: Paul Blart Mall Cop and Bride Wars. No pop corn or candy. I had a large Coke Zero.

Dinner was from Chipotle, a Burrito Bowl. I had steak, beans, sour cream, cheese and lettuce. I also had a pear.

I'm far too caffeinated to go to bed right now, so I don't see myself on the treadmill tomorrow. But, I am increasing my meds tonight and I'll check my blood sugar and weight tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Lazy Saturday

I got up before 8. I did something this morning I haven't done in a long while: I sat down and played WoW! It's easy to while away some hours there - just letting one's ass expand ...

Then, I took my meds with a shake. Steph made her soon to be famous crustless quiche. It was good and I had a goodly chuck of it.

I then settled my ass in for much TV watching. Along the way I ate lots of nuts, an apple, a pear and some celery with cream cheese.

Dinner was baked meatballs left overs and salad. Dessert was some HUGE seedless grapes.

High on the fruit sugars, but considering how desperately I wanted Reese's Peanut Butter cups and chocolate in general, I'd call today a win.

Tomorrow night I up my meds again.

Terisucky

Friday is omelet day at work. Mine had ham, sausage and bacon. I added two additional strips of bacon. Yum!

Lunch, however, sucked. I went to the food court at West Lake Mall, I ran an errand near by. I found a teriyaki place and thought that would be a good bet. I started with the woman at the register who did not really speak English. She just made noises, then made them louder when I didn't understand her. For example, she said "Joowan dwick?" Which I interpreted to mean "Would you like a tasty beverage with your meal?" Luckily, I was correct.

I ordered the beef teriyaki. What I got was a pile of white rice, some over-cooked veggies, what I hope was some type of beef fried in sauce and topped in even more sauce. My request for no sauce and no rice resulted in double for both. This and a large diet "dwick" cost me $9. I ate the beef and veggies. I threw away about two pounds of rice dripping in sugar-sauce.

Steph made baked meatballs and salad for dinner. Much tastier!

Had a couple of light headed moments today. Gotta love new drugs!

Coming to Grips

I'm not happy about the blood sugar issues and having to increase my meds. I know there is nothing I can do and that I just need to move on - but I'm just not wired like that. I'm frustrated and tired and tired of being frustrated and tired.

Food was pretty simple today. Shake, powdered eggs, two bacon and a sausage patty, chicken over salad. A pear and nuts for snacks. Dinner was take-out teriyaki with no sauce. I also had a little left over cheese dip - I think I had more celery than dip.

I'm looking forward to measuring my blood sugar on Monday. I am hopeful I will see a number well below 300. I don't expect to see any weight loss. The following Monday will be a different story.

Missed one!

I missed my post last night. I'm getting a little lazy with this.

So, as for yesterday, I did indeed go to the doctor. My doctor thanked me for coming in - I guess I scared her. She increased the dosage on my meds, one by 8X and the other by 4X. I'll be ramping up to that level over the next week. We'll see how it goes.

As for food yesterday, well, I fasted before I went to the doctor so that she could run an A1C test. So, by the time I left the doctor, I was going to go find some food. Finding decent food Downtown before lunch isn't the easiest deal. So, I just went home. By the time I got back to my car in Kent, then did one errand for the wife, it was Noon. There is an Indian Buffet I have wanted to try for a while. I think I had some chicken, I know I lost a layer of skin due to the spiciness. I, unfortunately, was served some of the best Naan I have ever eaten! (I was hungrier than I was smart.)

After than I had some nuts and some sugar free Jell-o. Dinner was steak and salad.

I will go back to see the doctor in six weeks. I'm hoping the meds work and maybe I can start taking off the weight.

I nearly went to bed before writing this!

I'm going to see the doctor tomorrow. Then I'm going to see a movie and generally take the day off! This will give the doctor whatever time she needs to run whatever tests she wants to run.

Food today didn't go badly. I had bacon and sausage for breakfast. I had chicken over salad for lunch. Dinner was turkey and cole slaw. There was a banana, an apple, some nuts for snacks and I had fruit cocktail for dessert.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. My body is falling apart randomly and I just never know what's going to fall off next.

I hear you, Sue. Thank you.

Today I lost faith. But, it's only temporary.

I got up this morning and checked The Sugar. My blood sugar measured at 303. It should be around 100. It was like 96 this summer, the last time I saw my doctor. Something has changed. I've been able to bring it down, but not enough. So, yeah, I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow.

Then, I got on the scale: 496. I have been behaving. I have been up and moving. I have been denying myself everything and the weight is just fluctuating in the same ten pound range. By now I should be below 490. My bet is that with my blood sugar off, I'm just spinning my wheels.

So, yeah, I went off the diet today. Food is my drug and I needed a fix. I had fast food and candy. There wasn't much in the house that wasn't "on" and my stomach has shrunk so much I can't eat buckets of food. But, I pretty much snacked out all day. If it says anything, I ordered a diet cola with my fast food. Gods I'm fucked up.

The diet will resume tomorrow. I'm up too late for a workout. But, I will call my doctor. I'll figure it out yet.

A string of minor disasters.

This morning began well enough. I had a small piece of quiche. We decided to go to the movies.

We were cutting it close to late, but we would only miss the previews. I got out of the shower and got dressed in one of my favorite pairs of pants. As I was getting dressed, Steph stepped out of her shower ... kinda limpy-gimpy. She had bent down to pick up a bra and pulled her back. She still wanted to go to the movies - I thought we should cancel, but we geared up to go.

I was all set to beat the Theater Challenge! I would get a diet cola at the concession stand and have it refilled for the second movie, thus halving its price. Caffeine is an appetite suppressant, right? Plus, I brought a baggy of nuts and some low-carb bars for snacking. I wasn't about to give into the candy and popcorn monsters!

We got out to the car to see we were parked a little close to the next car. I was going to drive since Steph's back hurt. Getting in was a tight squeeze, but I made it! However, my pants didn't! As I sat down, my pants ripped from taint to pooper. So much for a favorite pair of pants! This was going to make us even later. I ran in and changed pants, ran out and squeezed back into the car. Someday I'm going to be tall and skinny and such things will not concern me.

We get to the theater, Steph suggested that she get out and buy tickets while I parked. She said "Owie! Owie! Owie!" as she got out. Sitting for four hours of movies suddenly became a very bad idea.

She got back in the car and we headed to the store. We bought frozen burger patties and kosher dogs and whole grain buns. I grilled them up. I put two patties on one bun and two dogs on another bun. Sure, it was carbs, but if you have to have bread, it was the best way to go!

Dinner was marinated chicken over salad. Dessert was a can of fruit cocktail in Splenda. There were nuts for a snack.

Food was a win. Activities and clothes were a total loss!

A Good Saturday

I hung out with my friends most of the day. Days like this are usually filled with tons of sugar and junk food. Today was not.

Breakfast was fried eggs, ham and cheese. Lunch was some pork. Dinner was roasted chicken left overs. I had some canned peaches (in Splenda) and sugar free pudding for a treat. My portions were probably over large, but considering I didn't down a dozen donuts or a bag of cookies - as I usually would - it's a win.

I'm hoping that all of this begins to add up and show up on the scale. We shall soon see - weigh in is on Monday, even if it is a holiday.

Dee-Light

Breakfast was an omelet. Lunch was a salad and some baked chicken. I ate an apple and some nuts for a snack.

Dinner was fun. We got Dee-Light pizzas from Papa Murphy's. I ate a salad and only had five out of eight pieces. Low carb and a bit of a treat. I've earned it!

Not a bad week. I think I'll be much more "on" this weekend than last!

Blog Crossing

I wrote an entry about this diet and this blog on my other blog. Check it out if you wish.

I had my shake. The powdered eggs again sucked, but I had two strips of bacon and a sausage patty so I didn't starve. I was still pretty hungry, I downed an apple and a banana and some nuts before noon. Noon was some baked chicken. In the afternoon I had a bar - 180 calories of low carbiness!

Dinner was kinda funny. Steph had to stay late at work. So, we decided to get something a little faster on the way home. We stopped at Costco. They have HUGE roast chickens. We bought two. Steph took my wings in trade for her legs. By the time I finished the legs and a thigh - I was full. I was essentially looking at a full chicken - and that was all I could eat. I can't believe how easy it is to fill me! I had some salad, but that was it!

So, good on food. It's a win.

Cupcakes!!!

Yeah, I'll get back to the treadmill this weekend or next week. I'm going to stop stressing about it.

I had my shake. Breakfast was Eggs Benedict - I asked for it without the english muffin, the sauce and the ham. I ended up with three baked eggs and three strips of bacon.

Lunch was the last of the chicken & broc left-overs. I had an apple, a banana and some nuts as snacks.

Then, we had our little event at work. The event celebrated all of the people in my department that had anniversaries. I was "celebrating" 8 years. I knew there would be treats of some type. I planned to go, get a can of Diet 7Up, stay long enough to call it an appearance and then get the heck out.

Yeeeeeah. The management in my department can't even figure out how to throw a party. There were no drinks. Nothing. But, oh dear jeebus!, the conference table, one of the largest in the firm, was COATED in cupcakes. My blood sugar jumped just walking into the room. It was like dropping a cocaine addict into a Miami Police Department evidence locker. I said hello to a few people and got the hell out - I didn't get any cupcake on me.

Dinner was started with some BBQ Pork, some cheese and salami and eight - 8 - Ritz crackers, then the main course was crustless quiche. I had a container of fruit cocktail in Splenda syrup for desert - that was about 200 calories.

So, all told, not bad. I didn't need the crackers, but I didn't eat four cupcakes.

Just Okay

The cold is tapering off, thankfully.

I didn't get to the treadmill. Sucks.

Food for today started, as always, with a protein shake. The powdered eggs sucked, I ate a few bites and had four strips of bacon. I had an apple and a banana. Lunch was some chicken & broccoli in white sauce left overs. There was some nuts for a snack. Dinner was a medium T Bone with a salad. Over all, the food was in the win column.

I didn't get on the treadmill, but I walked around the store with Steph tonight. A little movement is better than none.

Tomorrow they are having a function I must attend. There will be cake and cookies and who knows what else. We'll see if I survive.

Decent until Dinner

Yeah, last night ended pretty late - with Big Macs and Corn Chips.

I didn't get up for the treadmill this morning.

My blood sugar was high, 426, but that was expected.

My weight was 492 ... not looking that horse in the mouth. My body is SO screwed up.

I had my shake, then had sausage patties on toast with cheese - not great. I drank a thing of OJ, looking for the vitamin C there. Lunch was a salad - my one good-boy meal of the day. There was an apple and some nuts in there as snacks.

Dinner was left-over chicken and scalloped potatoes. Then more corn chips (whoops! Finished the bag!) Then a baloney sandwich. I'm so freeking stuffed I could barf. Stupid! I had a stupid and rough day and I wasn't feeling good to boot, so I turned to food. Typical!

This keeping an honest record of what I'm doing isn't fun anymore. I'm going to bed now.

Back to work tomorrow.

The cold is hanging on, but I'm good enough to go back to hell ...urm, work.

Today's food consisted of a run to BK. One meal. That was around lunch time.

About an hour ago I started to get pretty hungry. The wife was on the phone. I figured she'd be off soon and we could get something to eat. She just got off the phone and she isn't hungry.

I'm left to decide between going out and buying food, then staying up for two hours so as not to give myself heart burn. Or, go to bed on an empty stomach so I can do the treadmill in the morning.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, neither option is very good. Guess you'll find out what I did tomorrow.

Still off, feeling a bit better.

The cold is cough and sniffles. Some sore throat issues still. I hate being sick.

Left over KFC for breakfast. Dinner was some kind of Au Gratin Potatoes and Chicken thing that the wife made - tasted awesome. There were a couple of cookies. To control my cough, I had several cups and glasses of full sugar tea.

The weigh in Monday will not be pretty. Did I mention I hate being sick?

This blog is a bit more interesting to read than I thought it might be. There's some drama now. Will he get back on the diet or will he fail before January is even half through???

Tune in tomorrow. Same fat time! Same fat channel!!

Still Sick, Still Bad

Stayed home sick again today. The headache and sinus issues have become a cough.

When I have a cold I want to sleep and eat. I did both today.

Start with a T-Bone and four eggs. Then it was a lot of pudding. Then a baloney sandwich. Dinner was chicken strips from KFC, complete with biscuits, slaw and mashed potatoes and gravy. Then, left over Xmas candy.

So, yeah, the good I've done has probably been ruined by the bad I've done the last two days, but I don't care. I hate being sick and I wasn't about to starve and be sick!

I'll get back on ... probably Monday. Maybe sooner.

Bad, Sick, Nasty Boy

I got my wife's cold. It showed up out of the blue today. I stayed home from work. I'm probably staying home tomorrow.

This seems to be the way it always works. I get serious about a diet and I get sick and the diet dies with the virus. I wonder if my resistance goes down when I diet?

So, food today was some baked chicken, four fried eggs, some nuts, some corn chips, then a double cheese burger, Sprite and fries from Wendy's. I didn't eat but a few fries, I couldn't taste them. So ... not good.

My only saving grace for the day is that I discovered the cold as I did my time on the treadmill this morning, so, four days in a row. I will NOT be on the treadmill tomorrow. My streak will have to sit at four days for the moment.

I fully intend to get back on the wagon. But, I've said that before. We'll see.

Day Three

Third day on the treadmill at 5 AM. Excellent.

This is where this starts to get boring: shake, powdered eggs, two strips of bacon and a sausage patty - Opps! Something new there! Then lunch was a salad with turkey. Dinner was a chicken and broccoli thing Steph made. It had an Alfredo sauce and I had more salad. I snuck a few Triscuits.

I was really hungry all day. So hungry, the powdered egg product actually tasted good! Weird!

(5 AM) X 2 = :)

Two days in a row I've gotten up at 5 for the treadmill. Let's see if I can do it again tomorrow ...

Other than that, I had my shake with my meds, powdered eggs and two strips of bacon, an apple, a banana, salad with vinaigrette and turkey, some nuts and a bunless double whopper and a salad for dinner.

I so want to keep going on this. It feels right.

Mixed Results

The ticker is not incorrect.

I weigh 495 according to my scale this morning. The 490 seemed too good to be true. It seemed like a gift from the diet gods to encourage me on. Well, what the diet gods give, the little buggers can take away!

I'm not angry. I'm not giving up. I just hoped for better.

So, that was my lost battle for the day. However, I had some wins. My blood sugar is down to 326, still high but going down. Also, I got up at 5 AM and did the freekin' treadmill - BIG WIN! I'm hoping I can repeat it tomorrow.

Food was pretty simple for the day. I had a shake, powdered eggs and only two strips of bacon (I normally eat four), a salad with turkey & vinaigrette dressing for lunch, some nuts for a snack, then leftover baked chicken and bag salad with vinaigrette dressing for dinner. A good deal.

Next week's weigh in will be better. I just have to believe it will be.