Exercising my Demons

Yeah, I know, long time. I've been good and bad about my diet. But, my meds were changed and it hurt me. My meds are back in order and I'm back on the wagon - since a week ago Monday. I didn't weigh myself Monday, I plan to weigh myself this coming Monday.

So, I have been taking the article I referred to a couple of posts back to heart. And it's gotten me thinking. We all make choices and changes in our lives, some good and some bad. But, I think sometimes we make changes and never see that we changed.

I've been heavy all of my life. But, when I was a kid - I walked everywhere. Seriously, everywhere. Back and forth to grade school - and it wasn't just down the block, either. Long walks to and from the bus and my job. We moved in high school, but my walk to school wasn't short and if I wanted to go anywhere else, it was a good walk to the bus stop - or an even longer walk to my destination. I can remember countless two hour walks to 7-11 for a soda and video games - there were at least five 7-11 within "walking distance" of my house.

My BFF (jeez!) Max can attest to these walks. He may have been a bigger walker than I was. Walks to 7-11 at all hours. Walks to and around the park and back at 3 AM just to have something to do. Drive to the mall and walk that for hours just looking at stuff, again, just to have something to do.

I did indeed once sit down and bounce a quarter off my calf - they were huge! I had trouble with pants, not around my waist, but getting them over my calves! (okay, the waist, too. Duh!)

But I was still fat. You see, and it's only now that I see this, I'd walk to 7-11, two hours round trip and I might have burned off 500 calories. But, I'd buy a huge full power soda, candy and/or nachos. There went any of the losses I might have made. If someone had changed my soda to diet - well, I would have likely gotten cancer from the huge amounts of artificial sweeteners I was in-taking, but I wouldn't have put on the weight I gained. Walking around the mall was great, but I had a cookie or two ... or six ... at Mrs. Fields and cheese fries or half a pizza down in the food court. These were the days I could polish an 18 inch deep dish pizza by myself and ask what's for dessert? Three or four slices was a snack! These days, four slices of pizza puts me in a carb coma!

Had I been looking out for my diet at the time, with the amount of activity in my life, maybe I wouldn't have put on all the weight. We were still poor enough that pasta and potatoes were big staples, but maybe I could have slowed the process.

Speaking of slowing processes, we come to the next phase. I moved to Seattle. When I first moved here, I kept my same pass times. I didn't have a car, so I walked to the bus, walked around malls, walked to the store, etc. I also kept up with the bad eating, and once I had cash in hand, it got worse. The weight added up.

When Steph moved in, we bought a car. So, I didn't walk nearly as much. Steph was also an easily accessible source of entertainment (get your mind out of the gutter!) - so, instead of walking around the mall just for something to do, we would go out to eat and then to a movie. We got concerned about our weight and had gym memberships for years - seldom used. As my job became more stressful, I found more and more reasons to lose myself in video games and TV. Not much movement here.

Tuesday, I was bored and restless. I went to the bank, then just walked around a grocery store. Nothing outlandish, just wasn't at home on the couch or parked in front of the computer. I also wasn't pouring snacks into my face either - I eat when I'm bored ... lonely, stressed, horny, satisfied ... you get the picture. Today, again with the restlessness. Maybe this is a good sign - a return of energy. The weather has been good for me, too. Cloudy, cool, a little rainy - my Seattle is back in swing!

Today I did something I haven't done in nearly a decade. University Avenue, called "The Ave," in the University District, is filled with shops and restaurants catering to the students on the University of Washington campus. I used to go explore The Ave once or twice a week. There was more for me to do there back then, I went regularly, walked for hours. And, yeah, I ate crap and drank crap - then ... today was different. I took the bus, something I haven't done since I lost my job. The most interesting area on The Ave is about five or six blocks long - covered in tiny shops and some big shops and restaurants - I walked up and down, looking in all the windows. I stopped into two real-life record stores. I thought those were extinct! I had a Diet Coke Zero. All told, I must have walked for two hours. Nothing stressful, just out DOING.

Now, I'm not happy that I spent five bucks to ride the bus there and back (I'm sure parking would have been more) so maybe I need to find something closer. But, I am happy to have been out, just out, moving. Instead of sitting on the couch watching my Red Dwarf DVDs for the 438th time! Eating low carb snacks and thinking, well, I could be shoving chocolate and cake into my face - this is better than that, right? I knew what I did today was better.

Besides, the new crop of college girls were CUTE! :)