Being an addict means you are always saying you are sorry.
But, I'm not sorry. Not yet.
The day started off as good as a Monday can. My blood sugar was 202. The increased meds are indeed working. I still have a double up on those in a couple of days - I'm sure my number will go down further. My weight went to 492. I guess it's better than going up. I sure would like to see less than 490 - not that I will get there quick.
I had my shake-meds cocktail. Breakfast was a small portion of powdered eggs, two strips of bacon and two sausage links, not patties - smaller!
I had some nuts. Lunch was left over chicken and turkey over salad. I had an apple in the afternoon.
A combination of hunger, stress and my wife and I enabling each other led us to another casino buffet for dinner. (Lots of casinos in the area!) I went fully intending to stuff my face while stuffing my diet! I didn't care. I needed my fix.
Somewhere my brain kinda kicked in, a little. I opened with protein, a lot of protein! I'm not going to say how much exactly, let's just say it was very much. By the time I got all the protein down, the fire was out of me and I only had room for one, very nice, piece of chocolate cake. It was REALLY good.
So, dinner was a total loss, full of disaster and shame - and excellent chocolate cake. The rest of the day, food wise, was okay.
4 comments:
Hey Jericho. Chocolate cake sounds really, really good to me right now. I had a bad day yesterday as well. Was in a munchy mood, and ate way too much, even if some of it was healthy. Some.
The thing is, my eating out of my healthy foods was so stupid, because now I have set myself back into the vicious carb-craving cycle. Also, it stops my body from the fat-burning mode. Sigh. Why do we do this?
Anyway, I am back in the saddle again, had an apple for breakfast. I am not even hungry. I am going to wait until I am hungry, REALLY hungry, before I eat today. And it is going to be ALL healthy, mostly proteins and veggies.
WE can do this!! And congrats on your weight loss!! That is super!
Oh, how it hurts. This is not an easy process, and it doesn't always feel nice. Sometimes I think that a dose of shame and guilt helps gird the loins for the next bout of "but I have to have it". At least, that is how it works for me. I don't begin to feel scared about this journey until a point where I no longer feel any guilt about abusing me with food.
You can do this, Jericho. You just need to find your inner butt-kicker. *grins*
yes you totally can do this. you are but 3 pounds away from being under 490. think about those 3 measly pounds when you are tempted to gorge. easier said than done...but you are so close :)
Thanks, ladies, I need the support.
And, Sue, as per usual you are right. I'm sure I would have been repulsed by those donuts this morning had it not been for the cake last night. But I SO wanted them!
We can do it, we all can do it!!
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