Thursday, May 29, 2014

Still Angry

So, here we are, Day 3 of The Anger Diet. As a #diet goes, it's not so bad. Three shakes, one meal and an empty stomach. There have already been changes. The first day, Tuesday, I was pretty hungry. I kept looking at food and denying myself. Yesterday, I wasn't hungry. Sure, the stomach was empty and food felt good, but there were no pangs. Food came when it was due, just not in the huge amounts or the constant flow my body is used to.

This morning was a little different. When I woke up, I thought about food and the thought kinda sickened me. The thought of a large meal nauseated me. It occurred to me that if I did decide to go back to my old habits, after such an extreme change, I would make myself sick. I'm surprised, this has happened in such a short time.

I'm not looking forward to the next few days. Fridays, the boss buys us lunch. If I can manage a low cal meal out of it, I'll be fine. But, if not, I may have to ditch the office, which will be easily observable. It's a small concern, but no one makes a tempest in a teapot like I do. I have social engagements this weekend, lots of food land mines. Luckily it'll be with people that get it, but it's still not going to be fun. Gotta get through the weekend.

My big concern right now isn't food or calories or even exercise. My current concern is longevity. How long can I keep this diet going? My habit usually sees the death of any diet in very short order. A week is the average. Two weeks is a good stretch. Three weeks is nearly unheard of and the crazier the diet, the shorter it lives. So, how does one sustain a diet based on anger?

Add more anger, of course!

Like any fire, when it begins to die, heap on some fuel. Enter my boss.

Don't get me wrong, I like my boss. He's a straight forward guy. He knows he's an opinionated dick. His words! I admire someone who knows themselves well enough to be able to declare such things. Doesn't make dealing with him much easier. But, in the end, he is a known quantity - you are getting exactly what it says on his smug, diminutive package.

Last night I hung out at work, doing laundry (the machine is free and better than the ones in my complex!), he happened by. He's aware of my situation since we discussed the insurance issue. We started talking and this began a two hour lecture on my weight, my health, my finances and my life choices. This is typical of the guy, not unexpected. But, by the end, I had a whole new basket of anger. Now I want to shove my diligence and resolve in his FUCKING FACE!

That should get me through the weekend.

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