New Jeans

My wife bought me a couple of new pairs of jeans. Today being "Casual Friday" at work - a relatively new thing in my office, I wore my new jeans. Nothing special about them. They are comfy and inexpensive. However, I managed to get the waist on them adjusted about perfectly on the first try: not too tight to cut into me and not too loose so that they just fall off. Not bad.

I was good on food at work. I had and omelet and bacon for breakfast, an apple and nuts for snacks and some left over turkey for lunch.

However, we had a little deja vu at dinner. We had a friend over this evening and it was determined that we should get pizza. So, I ate and ate well and the pizza was the best pizza I've had in ages. The carrot cake afterward was good as well.

I don't think I can continue this trend of being good all day and going wild at night, but it was fun the last two days. Back to the grindstone tomorrow. I doubt Monday is going to be terribly impressive for numbers.

Comfort Food

I missed posting yesterday. I started this blog and this diet with all kinds of gusto - I was going to finally do it! I was going to stick with a diet and lose all the weight and I was going to post my triumphs to my blog every day.

That lasted about a week.

I've learned a few truths in the last two months. For one, there is no such thing as "every day" in my life. Each day is unique. Many more of them are in the "sucks" pile than I would like, but they are all different. The second truth I have learned is that the road to discipline is fraught with distractions and detours - and apparently I am something of a tourist. But, the journey isn't about what distracted you along the way, it's about getting back on the right road and getting to your destination. I wish I had learned that lesson the last time I seriously dieted. Four years, quite the detour.

Nothing unusual about yesterday. I was a good boy food wise, I stayed up too late and went to bed without writing my post. That would have made a pretty boring post, no?

Today was different. We had some snow this morning, so we decided to go in a little late, let the suckers get off the highway. Steph made me some eggs for breakfast - very nice of her.

I got to work and ate a Slim Fast bar. About an hour later, I started having lower GI issues, I won't give too many details, but I was in the Gents every hour after that. I tried eating a pear, but that was about all the food I got.

As if my job hasn't been bad enough this week - I had to do it out of the john!

By the time dinner rolled around, I had taken enough TUMS to calm my pipes. I was starving and wanted comfort food. Lipton Chicken Flavored Noodles with left over turkey. It was really good and just what my over exerted system wanted.

The huge piece of chocolate cake that followed was for my soul. It was damned good, too.

If it tells you anything, I washed it down with a Diet 7UP. Apparently this old dog does learn new tricks.

Fat Tuesday

So, if I've been dieting since before the beginning of the year, does that mean I get freebie calories from God for Lent?

Yeah - didn't think so! :)

Soy milk with my meds. Three strips of bacon and a sausage patty for breakfast. Lunch was leftover chicken and broccoli. There were some nuts here and there. Dinner was turkey and salad. I considered fruit after dinner, but I was too full!

They had one of their anniversary things today at work. No cupcakes this time, but lots of yummy smelling pop corn. I resisted. I wasn't willing to trade my streak for a handful of cheap pop corn.

Now, if we were talking half a birthday cake - you might have a deal! :)

It's all good.

So, the weekly weigh in came up three pounds lighter at 486. We're finally seeing progress! Blood sugar was 145, not too bad.

Breakfast was three strips of bacon and a sausage patty. Would have been frittata, but they used powdered egg in it and it sucked. C'mon! Use the real eggs! Support the economy!

Lunch was teriyaki. I walked back and didn't have to stop to pull up my pants once! I had nuts for a snack and had a soy shake before I left for the day.

Dinner was mustard chicken left overs and home-made coleslaw. Steph is an awesome cook!

A good day on the diet. (I'm feeling the zone, Sue!) I hope I can keep going with this three or more pounds a week. At three pounds a week, I wouldn't be worried about losing weight too fast and I'd see 400 by about September. Not bad.

Geeking out with Friends

Hung out with my friends today, being a geek.

The day started off with some really good scrambled eggs - I made them! Four eggs, cooked in better, with cheese. Excellent!

I snacked on nuts. About 4PM we got around to getting some food. I got a HUGE portion of teriyaki. I ordered extra meat, but I didn't think they would give me a trunk full of chicken! I was so hungry that I slipped into my old habits and gorged before I thought about what I was doing. It was pretty good stuff, though!

I might have some jello or fruit before bed. I didn't do too bad today.

Booooring! :)

Breakfast was large; I had an omelet with onions, peppers, ham & cheese, four strips of bacon and a sausage patty. Needless to say I wasn't hungry for hours.

Lunch was a large serving of left over turkey. I had an apple before I left work. I didn't even eat any nuts today!

Dinner was Chicken and Snow Peas from our favorite Chinese place. I ate about a third of the serving. It was good, but it didn't take much to fill me.

Sour Dough

I was starving by the time I had my breakfast, the little bit of soy milk I had with my meds had gone away. So, I had a sandwich: two slices of sour dough, two slices of cheddar, a sausage patty and I asked for four strips of bacon but I think the guy gave me six or more. It was a hell of a good sandwich - too bad about the carbs. I'll live.

The rest of the day was okay. I had nuts and a pear for snacks. Lunch was a salad with left over turkey. Dinner was a burrito bowl from Chipoltle: beans, steak, cheese, sour cream and some lettuce garnish because there wasn't much room left in the bowl!

I think I will survive a carb here and there. Had I eaten the donuts that looked good at Club 40 this morning or the cookies from Specialty's (Huge box! Free! Muffins, too!) or the rice or chips from Chipoltle tonight, that would be a different story.

I'm looking forward to seeing my numbers on Monday.

Just to make it official ...

Food for the day:

Soy milk with meds. Two strips of bacon and a sausage patty plus maybe three bites of the powdered eggs. (I put in my suggestion last week - I guess they haven't gotten there yet.)

Lunch was salad with left over turkey, plus two fruit cups in Splenda syrup. Probably won't buy those again, the mandarin oranges were totally tasteless and smelled weird. There were nuts here and there to keep the tummy happy.

Dinner was essentially chili on salad with sour cream - my wife's idea of "low carb taco salad."

Nothing wrong with the day.

Suspension Bridge

Quoteth the Squishy!:

Hey Jericho! Have you thought about investing in some suspenders? I'm sure that they would be much more comfortable, and your pants wouldn't fall off. If you didn't want anyone to see them, you could just wear them over a t-shirt and then pull on your regular shirt over them. Personally though, I like suspenders. My papa always wore them, and I thought they looked sharp on those guys in the older movies- back in the days when people wore nice clothes regularly.

Anyway, it's just an idea- something to possibly get you by until your clothes fit you the way that you want them too.

Nope, hadn't considered suspenders, but I am now!

It's probably a real good idea. See, I have this "apron gut." It flows down most of my front. These days I wear really loooong shirts to cover it. (If they made 7XL Tall shirts, I'd buy them!). With most of my shirts, my belly is barely hidden, just a half inch above the bottom of the shirt. (My shirt today is super long! Love It!!!)

However, my fear is that as I lose weight, the apron/balloon will deflate and the skin will dip even lower. My hope is that it will begin to retract, but who knows? As big as my belly is it might end up around my knees!

I was not looking forward to having to purchase some new, large waist pants, and put a belt around my gut. Or, maybe wearing a girdle. However, now that we are thinking about suspenders, that might be a better solution. I'll look like a Simpson's character for a while (Hell! Who am I kidding? I look like Homer now!) - but that is much preferred to having gross looking flesh peeking out from under my shirt.

And, yes, someday there will have to be a tummy tuck. Affording it is a different question.

There's my saddle!

It's always in the last place you look!

Yes, I'm back in the saddle. The 5AM alarm did not succeed in getting me on the treadmill, but that was my biggest problem for the day.

I began the day with some Silk for my meds - it's a little high in carbs, switching from the chocolate to the vanilla as soon as this one is done, the vanilla has less sugar. It's only a few swallows, enough to get my meds down and qualify as "food".

Breakfast was two bacon strips and a sausage patty - I know, huge breakfast!

By lunch I was pretty starved, the nuts I ate were not enough. I walked down to my favorite teriyaki place and got a beef & chicken combo, no rice with extra veggies.

I'd walk down there more often, but, I have a problem: I don't own a waist. Since I'm all belly from my boobs to my knees, I wear my pants under my belly. (I could wear them over my belly, but either I would need a ten foot long belt or I would need to wear them under my boobs - not sexy!)

I wear the draw string pants. If I wear a belt, eventually the buckle cuts into my belly and hurts - to the point of bruising and even bleeding! If I wear a belt, or wear my pants tight enough to stay up, they cut in and that hurts. If I wear them loose enough to not hurt, they drop to my ankles - FUMP!

Every now and then I get my drawstring ~ just so ~ and the pants stay up with minimal effort and don't hurt. This is SO rare and with my body changing shape, it literally varies from day to day. (See recent weight fluctuations) Today was not a good pants day.

The whole walk down I'm tugging my pants up. On the way back, I have a package ... of food! So I have to stop at least every block if not twice every block, put down my food, tug up my pants, then off I go on my chubby way again. It's annoying and embarrassing.

Dinner was turkey and salad - nothing too exciting but it was tasty and most importantly ... ON!

Rough Day

So, for the good news: Yes, I finally - FINALLY! - got below 490. 489 is not a bad number when one has struggled to get there for two months. My blood sugar was 174 - which is down from last Monday, also a good deal.

But, as soon as I won one, I lost one.

I had a long and emotionally charged conversation with my wife. It wasn't a "fight" - she and I are confrontation-phobes so we don't "fight." But, it was none the less difficult. After that, my diet just didn't matter. It was also after 1PM and I hadn't eaten yet so I was ready to eat anything.

I'm not going to detail the embarrassing amount of food I tried to shove into myself to make me feel better. It was a lot of food. So much food I wasn't hungry for dinner.

I can't imagine what my blood sugar looks like now.

Pizza & Fries

I took my meds with some chocolate Silk. "Breakfast" was closer to "Lunch" and consisted of chicken stew leftovers.

Steph made us some coffee drinks. Mine was more half & half than coffee. The combination of the coffee and my new found (and oft forgotten) lactose intolerance left me dashing for the bathroom. The grapes while I was watching TV might have aided this process.

Of course while we were watching TV, they pounded us with fast food commercials, leading both of us to moan in delight and scream in exasperation. Along the line Steph mentioned the combination of Pizza and French Fries - and that just sounded so GOOD.

That's all it took. That combo stuck in my head. I was nearly chanting this phrase: Pizza & Fries. PIZZA & FRIES!!

When it came time for dinner, I was in quite a knot. I really wanted Pizza & Fries. I knew it was a stupid idea. It sounded good, it might even taste good, but I would have felt like crap afterward and I've done so well this week. On the other hand, nothing else was going to taste as good as my brain had built up the combo of Pizza & Fries to taste. I was having an emotional tug of war with my mind, my diet, my addiction and a fictional fast food combination. It was stupid and I knew it was at the time. No matter what I did, I was making a poor choice. Finally, I told Steph that I'd rather starve.

Yes, I know how stupid all of that sounds. I knew it at the time. I'm really struggling with this diet. I'm winning the battles and yet it feels like I'm losing the war.

In the end, Steph was the sensible one. Bunless triple Whoppers and Tender Grill Salads from BK were purchased and consumed.

My weigh in tomorrow morning should be interesting.

Movie Night

Late brunch - quiche; eggs, onion, bacon, ham & cheese. My wife makes awesome food.

We went to the movies with friends. No popcorn or candy, just a Diet Coke.

Dinner was back at our friends' place. We bought dinner fixins since they bought the movie - this included white sauce for their home-made pasta and a full cheesecake. Did I have any? Nope. Steak and salad.

Getting tired of steak & salad. I want more donuts and cheesecake.

I'm going to bed soon - I'll try not to dream of donuts.

Not too bright, this one.

I forgot that Steph was taking the day off today, so I got up late. I rushed through my shower and got dressed. I remembered Steph had packed my lunch Thursday night, so I shoved it in my bag and headed for work.

When I got to work, I smelled something I recognized. Sweet, but with a hint of fat. I followed my nose to four dozen free donuts that someone brought for the team. They were so pretty and smelled divine. I took a big whiff ... and headed for Club 40.

Friday is omelet day at Club 40, mushrooms and cheddar, as well as four bacon strips and two sausage patties (The donuts made me HUNGRY!)

My day, in a word, sucked. I really considered leaving early. On a bright note that was something of a mixed blessing, there was an announcement that due to all of our hard work on the project I worked on all week, management bought us pizza. The pies from local killer pizza place Zeek's arrived at about noon. I followed my nose to eight fresh baked, perfect pizzas. I took a big whiff ... and headed for Club 40.

Nothing appealed to me at Club 40. The salad bar looked awful. They had General Tso's Chicken with rice - just a FEW carbs there. I was in such a bad mood I said the hell with it and went back to my desk. I had nuts and a bar if I needed it.

About 1:30 a friend of mine came by and wanted to go sit and eat lunch at Club 40. I had very little else to do, so, sure, I went with him. Nothing looked good, so I settled for a roast beef and cheddar sandwich on caraway rye bread. Good sandwich - the first carbs I had all week!

As I was getting ready to leave for the day, I picked up my bag and it seemed awful heavy. Oh yeah! My lunch bag that I totally forgot! Left over turkey and Asian BBQ pork - perfect for adding to a salad, not to mention little fruit cups with Splenda! That would have been WAY better than the sandwich - D'oh!!!

Dinner was low carb chicken stew - Steph's most recent proud creation. It was pretty good - I went back for seconds!

Got up too early.

Got up at 5AM to head into work for a project. I was at the bus stop at 6 and at my desk at 7. I had a shake with my meds, at 5:30, so by 7:30 I was a little shaky - my vision always goes a little wonky and I get a little dizzy and feel kinda fragile when my blood sugar drops. Club 40 wasn't open yet, luckily I had a meal replacement bar.

About 9 I went for breakfast. I stupidly ordered the powdered eggs and four strips of bacon. Eggs went into the garbage. They just put up a suggestion box - I plan to fill it for them!

By the time 1PM rolled around, I was dying. I had had a few nuts, but they were not filling the void. There was turkey on the salad bar, so a large salad was consumed.

Dinner was turkey. Just turkey. Good turkey.

I finished the project, thankfully. Tomorrow is Friday, followed by a three day weekend. I can use all of those that I can get!

Flakey Blood Sugar

So, this morning I took my blood sugar. After yesterday's great readings I thought it might be col to see further progression. No dice. My Sugga was 211. I don't understand how less than 12 hours after getting a 140 and not in taking any food, I went up 70 points. Screwed up body! I'm not letting it get to me, it's just weird.

Breakfast was bacon, sausage and fruit salad. I had an apple. Lunch was Leftover Surprise comprised of chicken with snow peas from last night, chicken satay from the this weekend and pineapple chunks left over from the Super Bowl - it was a smaller portion than it might sound. I had some nuts. Dinner was a bunless triple whopper and salad. Portion size was good, but I was a little high on fruit. I'll watch that.

I'm off to work early tomorrow to handle a project.

Totally Forgot My Update!

And I was a good boy yesterday, too!

Started the day off with a random blood sugar test. It was 161. Not shabby, getting better all the time.

Breakfast was two strips of bacon, a sausage patty and an apple.

Lunch was two burger patties (rubber!) with cheese and pickles & a salad.

There were nuts for snacks.

Dinner was chicken with snow pea pods and egg drop soup from our favorite Chinese place to celebrate Steph's birthday. No rice, no noodles, nothing!

All I drank yesterday was water.

This radical U-turn in my diet has hit my lower GI pretty hard. So, since I was in the bathroom anyway, I again checked my Sugga: 140. This was about an hour after dinner. Not bad.

Last week I ate like a pig!

But, I'm back on this week. I weigh 495 and my blood sugar was 194 this morning. Considering how I abused myself over the weekend, I'm shocked it wasn't higher.

And, BTW, no worries, Sue. I was a BIG pig! On top of that, I missed a post yesterday.

Breakfast was three poached eggs (I should say rubber eggs, ate them anyway) two slices of bacon and one sausage patty. Lunch was a medium salad, no meat - all they had was ham. Dinner was a T Bone and salad. I drank water until I got home, and I've only had one can of Diet Rite (No sugar, No caffeine).

My ankle is bothering me. My tendinitis is acting up from all the driving I did this weekend. Hopefully that will clear up before the end of the week and I can get on the tread mill.

I've got a lot on my mind, the job is just the most obvious stressor. I need to find better outlets for my stress than eating. I also need to change my attitude. Last week I allowed the fact that I only lost one pound become a rallying point for my stress to push me over to old, bad habits. I was telling myself that at one pound a week it would take me six years to lose the weight and that I could not stand to diet for six years. Well, duh, I am going to have to watch my weight for not just six years, but the rest of my life. And, a pound lost is better than a pound gained. Losing a pound a week is what normal dieters do. It's a reasonable, healthy thing. My need for instant gratification needs to take a hike. I won't find instant satisfaction with my diet or the results of my diet - I've got a long road ahead.

Good Day. Still off.

I had a good, relaxing day. I ate like a pig.

Tie some knots in that rope, I'll climb back in the wagon on Monday.

Still Off

Breakfast was an omelet, with potatoes. Lunch was a sandwich and pretzels. I bought Nilla wafers. I drank full sugar soda.

Dinner was a Mexican food feast.

Ummm ... yeah. Monday will be interesting.

Totally Off

Totally off today. Didn't even care.

I'll get back on. Over the weekend or Monday.

Monday's numbers will likely suck. Serves me right for jumping off the wagon. Jumping off into the arms of the whore I love: food. My drug, my poison.

Didn't win the lotto. Played again. You people need to pray harder!

Still Alive, Mostly "On"

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, here, it's worth one blog post. That is exactly how I feel. I can't think of anything else to say.

Stress Eating

I didn't go to bed at 6 last night. I stayed up and ate pasta with Alfredo sauce and chocolate chip cookies. Tonight I had two Big Macs and fries and more chocolate chip cookies.

Do I feel good about this? No. But, I'm an addict, when I get stressed, I go to where I'm happy, and that's with a pile of junk food in front of me.

I don't know what to do about my job. I couldn't find another job before the economic crash. Now I'm really and truly stuck. And the stress is just getting worse and worse. I'm ready to scream. Or eat myself to death.

I played the Lotto - pray for me.

Too Frustrated

Today has been a real bitch at work. I got a good breakfast, fried eggs and bacon, but then work went down hill. I didn't get lunch until 1:30 and then I had the pulled pork sandwich. Bread - not quite comfort food.

At this point I'm going to go home, change the cat boxes (joy) and go right to bed.

Very Frustrated

My blood sugar is 189. I only lost one pound. If I had drank a glass of water I wouldn't have noticed that loss. My blood sugar is up. Sure, it's only a small amount, but it should be down, not up.

Perfect way to start the week. Perfect.

Super Bowl ... of Chili

I began my Sunday by sleeping in, then grabbing a shower, my meds and a shake before we headed out for an errand. While out, Steph and I were so hungry we had a hot dog. I don't think the carbs in a bun will kill me. The dog itself was good!

It being Super Bowl Sunday, and we being fat people, Steph prepared food for twelve. The smart thing she did was make it all low carb. We have left overs for the week.

I stayed low carb and I think I can say I even stayed on the good side of portion control, but I did indeed eat! There was Sweet & Sour Meatballs, Chili (Super Yum!), Teriyaki Chicken Legs, celery and Ranch dip, cole slaw, green grapes and a full on craving for chocolate ship cookies that I never fulfilled. I don't know where the cookie craving came from, but I specifically wanted chocolate chip cookies. Not cake or donuts, chocolate chip cookies. Go fig!

So far this has been an interesting diet. The blog thing is unique for me. I have never filled out a blog daily and I didn't think I'd make a full month, but indeed I have. I hope that it's been worthwhile reading my ramblings - it's certainly keeping me honest.