Monday, September 19, 2011

Disappointment & Anger

I know, long time since I've written out here.

And, I'm not looking for sympathy or advice, I just want to get this off my chest. Usually if I can write something out, I can figure it out. Or at least remove the drek so I can figure the rest of it out.

For those that don't know, I started a new job. Love the job for a lot of reasons. One of the cool perks about the job is that there is a gym right in the building. Good equipment and good showers - takes away a lot of excuses. Further, my boss, GmrGirl, is a professional personal trainer. Most of the team I work with is doing some form of fitness. It's a real pile of positive reinforcement.

So, yeah, I'm been dieting and working out for over a month. For my long time readers, you know that getting diet and gym together at the same time is pretty rare for me. I've been doing pretty good. Limited, minor cheats. I haven't seen a candy bar or a snack cake in well over a month. If I want sweet - I eat fruit. Low carb, lots of veggies. Two or so hours a week in the gym. I'm doing the treadmill for an hour at a time. Days between treadmill workouts, I've been doing more and more knee-push ups and ab crunches. I've tested my blood sugar every couple of days, haven't seen anything above 115. Really, I've been doing well.

I got on the scale a week or so after I started. 476 - no shock, that seems to be my "resting" weight. I decided to wait two weeks before I got back on the scale - I wanted a big number. I got 470. For a man that's used to drops of 10 pounds a week or more early in a diet, 6 pounds over two weeks seems pretty miniscule.

I decided to wait another two weeks. The gym thing is probably just balancing out the weight loss, right? Maybe I put on some muscle. (Felt like a lie, but it got me back to the gym, so, what the hell?)

This morning I got back on the scale. 469. Two weeks, one pound.

I'm angry. I'm disappointed. One pound. I had hope with how easy it's been to fall back into a diet and dive into the gym, that I would be able to hit 400 pounds by my birthday. If I'm only going to lose 2 pounds a month, I don't see that happening. I won't break 460 by my birthday.

Maybe I am putting on muscle, but MAN! - that's a lot of muscle, awfully quick. Seriously, even a normal dieter looking to lose 30 or 40 pounds can expect to lose one to two pounds a week. I need to lose 270+ pounds. I have huge fluid buildups my doc swears will depart as I exercise - I'm not seeing it. I'm on Januvia, which as we've seen before, results in large weight drops. Am I putting on five pounds of muscle a week? For a man with only 25% of the testosterone he should have, I find that unlikely.

And, OH! - The Dreadmill. The time passes more and more slowly every time I get on it. I spent four days on it this morning. I'm getting up at 5 AM, busting my hump, eating like a rabbit and I lost a pound in two weeks.

I'm tired, I'm angry, my feet hurt ... I just want to go crawl under my bed, even though I wouldn't fit.

Have no frets. I did the Dreadmill this morning. I am about to start the day with a big heaping Slim Fast bar. Lunch will be a salad - no meat - from BK. Dinner will be pretty much the same. Tomorrow will be similar. And the next day. I'm gonna keep going. I know it's the right thing to do even if the scale isn't showing it. I just prefer to see results for my efforts.

5 comments:

GmrGirl said...

so, some comments and observations:

1.) you may not be eating enough. Toss me your food log and I'll take a look. you have to EAT to lose

2.) you COULD be putting on muscle and if you build like a few of my clients (one puts on muscle like I'm putting on my clothes) then 8# in 3 months isn't unreasonable

4.) you *could* be underhydrating, though I hesistate to advise you in this area as you are discussing things with your doctor. Talk to them about how much you should drink every day

5.) try some green tea? I don't know WHY it works, I just know it does for some people

6.) your body could well be adapting to the treadmill. The body is inherently lazy. it will do as little as it has to do to get done what it has to get done. TRUST ME.

7.) I've come up with some more modifications if you want to work with us or hit them on your own. your call.

Jericho Brown said...

My typical day looks something like this:

On the way to work/gym, I have to put some carbs in the tank to offset the diabetes meds. I make a drink that does this. It's mostly water. It's green tea & 8 to 10 oz. of soymilk and Splenda. It's 32oz. of liquid and about 100 calories.

"Breakfast" is a Slimfast bar, 200 calories.

Lunch is typically a salad with 3 oz. of meat. I use normal Italian dressing.

I usually add in various snacks, usually a couple of pieces of fruit and some nuts.

Dinner is usually five or six chicken drumsticks and thighs. Cheap, easy to cook. I cook them ahead of time and nuke them throughout the week so I'm not tempted to hit fast food. Dinner is ready to eat in less time than it would take to go through a drive through.

Usually before the end of the night I find a snack. A couple pieces of fruit (apples, pears) or grapes. Nuts if I want (lightly) salty.

I drink water throughout the day. On gym days I down 32 oz. of water while on the treadmill. I have my 32 oz. mug at my desk that gets filled once or twice a day. At night it's usually green tea & Spenda, again, about 32 oz.

I love green tea. Iced Green & Mint teas with Splenda is my drink of choice. I've read up on green tea, but I haven't seen much in the way of additional weight loss. Hopefully it's having anti-cancer effects instead.

GmrGirl said...

yea, you are really under eating. It works when you're not adding activity. but when you add activity, you need to add fuel or your body will shut down.

Remember what I said about your body being lazy? Muscle takes more energy to maintain than fat does. Your body will break down lean muscle mass for energy before it uses fat stores. For the body it's a win/win. It doesn't have to support the fuel sucking lean muscle and it gets energy to run the other processes.

Try to keep your fats around 20% of your intake (ish). Keep them mostly unsaturated.

Grab 3 oz or so of lean protein at every meal, you can probably get close to double that. An egg white omelet (1c egg whites) with some shredded cheddar (1oz) is a protein laden breakfast with a little bit of fat to add some satiety.

If you prefer, add about 2tbsp salsa, scramble the egg whites and top with cheese and you have "mexican scrambled eggs". Throw it in a low carb wrap (210 cal, 10 net carbs) and you have a pretty hearty breakfast that is easy to pack. Total cal intake for it is close to 400 I think but it's more filling than many other options.

Let me know if you need recipes or advice. Welcome to the flip side. All of us get here one time or another. We stop eating hoping we will lose faster, only to find out, it doesn't work that way.

T.L. said...

Hey there - I'm glad to see you doing well with eating and exercising. I find that both are the key.

I was going to inquire if you are eating enough when I read about the slim fast bar for breakfast and meatless salad for lunch. I would be so hungry, and exhausted, I think. But you got better, detailed advice from a professional personal trainer already!

I do find that I don't lose as well if I don't eat enough. We need fuel to stoke the fire, I guess.

Hang in there...and I will watch for more updates!

Jericho Brown said...

It's funny, T.L., it sometimes takes outside eyes. This 2000 calorie diet has been successful before - but I wasn't going to the gym. Now that it's been pointed out to me I'm thinking "Duh! Where was my brain?"

Of course, now I'm wondering how "successful" my lovely 2000 calorie diet might have been? Did I lose a bunch of muscle mass? Guess we'll never know. I know with all my gout issues, I lost a ton of muscle in my legs! That shows up real well when I get on the treadmill.

Now I just need to find 1000 more good calories a day. I've thought more than once "Wouldn't it be great to be an athlete? You HAVE to eat more!" Well, here I am. However, no pizza and beer for me! :)

Jason "Jericho" Brown: Athlete - that has SUCH a nice ring! ;)