The Missing Year

I'm a little shocked at the fact that I missed posting to this blog for over a year.

I shouldn't be shocked, 2019 sucked!

I guess the first half of the year was no worse than any other recent year. I'm still old, fat, bald and living in St. Louis. That's not great but it's nothing new.

May, June and July saw me doing better on my diet and going to the gym more frequently. I wasn't perfect, but I was getting better.

On Monday, July the 22nd, I got up early to go to the gym. I was excited that a new medicine, Victoza, was lowering my blood sugar. In fact I recorded my lowest blood sugar reading that morning at 158. A few minutes later, there was a knock at my door. There was rising flood water in the parking lot. A hour later, the water, having entered my apartment, was gone. It had done very little damage to me, it had really damaged others. Regardless, my apartment was condemned by the city and I was evicted. Once again I had to come up with a down payment and am now paying higher rent. I am forever a nomad.

Needless to say, this left me spiraling out of control. Almost immediately my blood sugar was back up and I have yet to be able to recover fully.

In August, I went to see my doctor for my regular check up and I was overdue for an STD screen. My A1C was quite out of whack, but that ended up not being the worst news. I popped positive for HSV1 and HSV2 - Herpes. I immediately disclosed to all my recent partners. Several have tested negative since, which is a relief on one hand, but on the other hand it means I don't know how I got this disease. Having this disease also changed all my relationships drastically - understandably so, considering the stigma around the disease. This sent me into a serious emotional roller coaster. Early on there was even some suicide ideation. It would appear that my sex life, one of the primary drivers of trying to get healthy, is all but dead. I forgot anything resembling diet or exercise.

In December my Mom got sick. She's just now over that. I did a lot of running around trying to help her. I'm considering how I can buy a house and get her, literally lure her, to live with me. Moving once again.

It's only been since the first of the year that I have thought about getting my diet back together. After some false starts, I'm seeing success. I've lost a few pounds and my blood sugar is going in the right direction. As of yesterday, I am 419 pounds and at 176 on the BS meter, down from 427 and 238 respectively in November.

I went to the gym this morning and I have all my food packed for the day. I'm even looking forward to my homemade soup for lunch. Ever forward.